Written by Lee B. (Owner & Founder of DiskretAdultLife)
When you hear ‘sex toys for men’, you most likely think of cheap masturbation sleeves and blow up sex dolls. But sex toys for men have come a long way. As sex toys become less “taboo” and people become more open to the idea of using toys for pleasure both by themselves and in a relationship; it has started a revolution. Sex toys for men are now chic, classy, elegant, and stylish. Some are true works of art and more of jewelry piece than something you hide in your dresser drawer.
As both men and women become more accepting of there needs, wants, and desires the sex toy industry responds with better and better products. The entire idea of “caring less about what others think and doing what makes you happy” has really come tenfold in the past 10 years. So, what does that mean for us men? What should we be looking for in a sex toy for men? Should we buy one for our partner? Where do we even start if we want something half way decent? What’s the best way to use a male sex toy? Let us (the experts) help answer all your questions. These are common questions, and let me tell you guys, you’re not alone!
Sex Toys for Men: 101
Okay guys, maybe you’ve heard whispers of sex toys for men and the limitless pleasure they can bring, or perhaps you’ve owned some for years. Either way, the industry is constantly changing and right now it is flooded with options like never before. As the demand has increased so has the supply. And unfortunately to meet the demand a lot of untrustworthy manufactures from overseas have spilled into the sex toy industry.
Weather you plan on getting a sex toy for yourself or for your male partner, sex toys for men come in a variety of shapes, sizes, materials, and functions. Let me break this down in a simple to follow guide:
Sex Toys for Men Material:
Sex toys for men come in a variety of different materials here is a brief description of the most common materials used and what you need to know about them:
Steel sex toys are becoming more popular for good reason. Make sure they are 100% Stainless-Steel grade, or you might have a mix of metal that could potentially not be body safe. The steel sex toys for men have some great weight behind them and are extremely durable. If you break a steel sex toy, I’d love to hear how you managed that! The other benefit to them is they are non-porous. This leaves little room for bacteria to stick and easy to clean.
Glass sex toys for men are sleek and sexy. They come in extravagant colors shapes and sizes. The are like works of art and usually hand-made. Things to watch for with glass is that they are shatter proof and use body-safe glass. Similar to steel, the glass toys are non-porous. Most you can even stick in the dish washer for an easy clean.
Silicone is a tricky one. My general rule is stick to quality manufactures and retailer to ensure the silicone doesn’t have “Sil-a gel” or phthalates in it. It needs to be 100% pure silicone and unfortunately there are a lot of “knock-offs” out there. Regulations are starting to help protect them but stick with the quality companies.
- Stone / Crystal:
A lot of crystal and stone products are being hand carved or polished into works of art that can bring pleasure as well! Just have common sense when you look over the sex toy and make sure you don’t see any sharp edges, or pieces that could break off. Other than that, they are usually body safe.
Sex Toys for Yourself:
There are all sorts of sex toys for men that are designed specifically for male masturbation. Most of these come in the form of masturbation sleeves, butt plugs, or anal beads. Remember when using any type of anal play to have generous amounts of lube! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not have the ability to naturally lubricate itself. Lube is important to prevent discomfort and make the experience enjoyable. Here are the basics around each category of male sex toys:
- Male Sleeves:
Sleeves are the most common male sex toy for masturbation. They come in a lot of different styles but the most famous you might have heard of are Fleshlights. These are hand held sleeves, typically silicone that allow you to slide up and down around your shaft. Some you can even adjust the suction on for a more intense “grip” around your shaft.
- Butt Plugs:
Butt plugs are not just for gay men and women but are popular among all sex and sexual orientation. Straight men often have this fear of anal play, that it will make them less “manly” or it’s to difficult to tell their partner they are interested in it. However, those stereotypes are causing them to lose out on a lot of pleasurable experiences!
Butt plugs are designed with a single large bulb on one end and a tapped flare on the other end. This is designed so it can slide in and stay in place for extended amounts of time. The flared base prevents it from sliding all the way in and “losing it”. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t have a natural “stopper” preventing sex toys for men and women from going in to far. Just be aware of this when picking out a butt plug.
- Anal Beads:
Similar to butt plugs, anal beads get a bad reputation around straight men for absolutely no reason. These bring serious pleasure and if used right can not only intensify a male’s orgasm but make it last longer too! Anal beads are typically a strand of beads starting with a small diameter and gradually getting larger until the handle or “stopper”.
These allow you to start small and slowly work your way up in size from bead to bead. The stretching and fullness the next bead brings can be very pleasurable. Like butt plugs, these are used as a supplementary sex toy for added pleasure during masturbation.
A Sex Toy to Use on Her:
Alright guys, now that you have some basic sex toys to use on yourself during masturbation, its now time to share the love! Yes, plenty of couples use sex toys together or on each other. Some basic examples are:
- You watch him/her use a dildo or vibrator to warm themselves up, the anticipation is extremely sexy! (remember no touching until she/he says so)
- You grab a sex toy and use it on him/her. Show them what feels good when you use it on yourself or ask them how they prefer it.
- Use a sex toy specifically designed for couples! (I will touch more on this later)
Remember when you use a sex toy on your partner or even watch them use it on themselves; the sexiest thing you can do is communicate! I know most guys are rolling their eyes right now, how “cheesy” right? What would I need to communicate about? Using a sex toy is pretty straight forward, just go in and out right? WRONG! Every man and women enjoy each specific sex toy in a unique way. Nobody expects you to know them all or exactly how to use them all for the most pleasure on your partner. The key is simple; ask them and talk throughout the experience.
A simple “how does that feel?” or “do you like it when I do this?” is a great check-in to get it started. Then listen to the feedback. It might be faster, slower, harder, move it to this angle… This is an important part of enjoying sex toys together. It’s an important part of improving sex life all together! Here are some sex toys to use on her:
If your partner is a female, chances are she would love a vibrator added to the mix. Don’t shy away or be embarrassed that she gets pleasure from something other than your penis. This can be an excellent piece in your arsenal! They work particularly well for women who have a hard time orgasming strictly from male penetrative sex. Warm her up with this, and once she is well on her way, you can come in and finish her off. It works beautifully for couples who struggle to climax together. But how do you know she is getting near and its time for you to tag in? While it all goes back to communication!
A dildo is another great sex toy to use on your female partner. Different dildos are designed for different things. Some might be for g-spot stimulation while others are for dual clitoral and penetrative stimulation. The best way to understand what she enjoys most is through fun, and sexy experimentation. No better way to understand her body and what she desires but through trial and error.
A Sex Toy to Use together:
There are a lot of sex toys designed to be used together as a couple. That is, you both receive pleasure at the same time while using them. These can heighten the entire sexual experience for both of you! The only negative thing I can say about these; it’s tough to find a couple’s toy that fits both of you just right. Every male and female shape is unique and a soft silicone couples toy do their best to conform to both body types but don’t always hit the spot on both of you. If you are disappointed with your first couple’s sex toy, don’t give up! Sometimes it takes two or three before you find that perfect size and shape that works well for both of you.
- Cock Ring:
A personal favorite… the cock ring is a sex toy for men that goes around the base of the shaft. It brings a slight constriction along with vibration to the male penis that feels amazing. But when used during penetrative sex with a female it vibrates on her clitoris with each and every thrust. If your lady (like most) require clitoral stimulation to climax, this can be a great alternative to get her off while still enjoying penetrative sex.
Some couples sex toys like the sync are designed to insert into her while you thrust into her at the same time. The sync by We-Vibe is the classic design of this. Some men find this pleasurable while she enjoys clitoral and vaginal vibration along with your thrusting. It’s a trifecta of pleasure! Which can lead to a blended orgasm for her!
How to Pick a Retailer:
I know what most of you guys are thinking… easy; just go to amazon and pick a popular sex toy for men! Unfortunately, Amazon is flooded with cheap, low-grade silicone products that I would advise against. Not only this, but it doesn’t support your small business owners who are knowledgeable in the field of use and proper manufacturing body-safe materials.
I would suggest picking a knowledgeable and trusted sex toy retailer. A retailer should have a few years under its belt in the industry and offer free knowledge in the form of a blog or product description. The descriptions should help the buyer understand what it is, how to use it, and what it’s made of. Reviews are always a good thing to check as well.
Best Way to Use Sex Toys for Men:
To wrap things up, the most important thing with sex toys for men is getting over the “stereotypes”. A sex toy is not going to replace you in the bedroom, so don’t let that prevent you from getting your partner one. Anal sex toys are not used only by gay men. Straight men can receive a ton of pleasure from anal sex toys too. So, stop worrying about what others will think and start receiving the most mind-blowing sex of your life!
Remember to communicate in the bedroom. Simply checking in with your partner on how things feel will go a long way. To stay safe, never use an anal sex toy on yourself and then put it in your partner. The bacteria in our body is specific to us and you can not share anal toys with anyone before cleaning them first. Remember to always use lube with any anal sex toys. This will help bring you the most pleasure and prevent any discomfort. Make sure you trust your sex toy retailer and manufacturing company to prevent buying any male sex toys that are not 100% body-safe.
Lastly, make sure you have fun with it! Male sex toys are designed to bring extreme pleasure but if you get something you dislike at first, try something else. Its important to keep striving for new ways to heighten your sex life. If used safely, sex toys for men can open a whole new world to you!