sex sounds

Sex Sounds – The Good and The Bad

Sex Sounds – The Good and The Bad

The sex sounds that lovers make, when they are in bed together, are as unique as they are themselves. There are some noises, in particular, that fascinate me and there are others that, simply put, can turn a reasonable sex session into a truly memorable one. For me, there are also some special sounds my lover’s make that tell me, without a doubt, that what I’m doing to them is exactly right.

One sex sound in bed, that always works for me, is that, staccato, pre-orgasmic-breathing that someone makes involuntarily. It reminds me so much of those moments that a group of strangers experience when they are in an amusement park and sitting, as passengers, in a rollercoaster for the first time. I imagine the chain tugging the cars up to the very top, then the pause just before the first drop. I adore the fact that some people have begun to scream even before that fall. I suppose it’s a natural safety mechanism that they use to combat their feelings of anxiety and impotence a moment before their inevitable senses of terror, exhilaration and fulfilment take over.

Another one of my favourite noises made in bed is the one made by a lover when they have an orgasm so intense that it seems as though they are in sudden, and extreme, pain. My excitement and pleasure in that instant is magnified if their face registers that same intensity. If it goes on and on, as if it resembles childbirth, then it has the opposite effect on me; it turns me right off. I much prefer a lover’s orgasm to look and sound as though they are crying because of the pure pleasure that I’ve given them. Their naked vulnerability at that moment makes me feel both powerful and essential. Of course, the opposite is true if your lover doesn’t make any sound at all when they come. In those cases I have to wonder whether they are repressed or, even worse, that they might not be enjoying it. Those doubts cause me no end of frustration.

There are some sex sounds that are beyond your control, of course. This can be the case when sex toys, BDSM instruments or fetish implements are being used. Certain types of vibrators are very quiet when they are being enjoyed. Others can and do sound like a broken fan when they’re switched on. Some stimulators sound louder than normal if fresh batteries have been inserted. What is especially confusing, and concerning, for your neighbours is the sound of whips and squealing coming through their walls. If you don’t have sufficient sound-proofing in your apartment, you do run the risk of having the people next door ringing your doorbell at the most inappropriate times.

A classic way to obscure sex sounds – for anyone who might or might not want to listen to you – is to bite down on the pillow. Music is another way to mask unavoidable noises. It’s particularly effective and appropriate if you are having sex during the day; everyone expects a louder playlist than normal. You should be selective about which tracks you choose and try to avoid songs you are unfamiliar with-don’t just turn-on the radio before getting down to it. I remember being with an ex-boyfriend and having sex in time to “The Final Countdown” by the band Europe. The song was on the radio and my boyfriend’s thrusts banged in with exactly the same rhythm. I lost concentration and couldn’t follow any of the other noises that I was making in bed.

It’s important to have a firm mattress when you’re having an intense sex session in bed. Worn-out bedsprings guarantee plenty of noise while denying you any sense of comfort. Keeping the windows closed is advisable. If you live in a building with a patio area and you forget the window then your groans, moans, shouts and signs will echo throughout the whole property.

One thing that I can’t forgive is when a lover asks me to make less noise, or to be quiet, when we’re having sex. It doesn’t just kill the spontaneity of the moment and it inhibits me completely. I can’t help asking them what their reasons are. Whatever they say, I’m conflicted. Is it really because they’re worried about what the neighbours might think or does the sight and sound of me being excited bother them?

venus o'hara sexual incompatibility sex sounds

If I’m involved in a full-on sex session, I can’t help being bothered by the possibility that someone might hear me. In that case, I try to control myself but that isn’t always possible. If it gets to the point that neighbours have started to bang on the wall then I feel ashamed afterwards. I live in dread the next day in case I cross paths with them in the corridor or meet them out in the street. There are times, however, when a neighbour’s input can enhance the sexual experience.

There was an elderly lady who lived in the next door apartment. A lover, and myself, were really going at it when she began to hit her side of the wall. We slowed down and calmed ourselves until the lady stopped interrupting us. It didn’t take long for us to pick up the pace and get lost in the moment yet again. If anything, I was moaning even louder than before. The shock of more wall-banging, although a little predictable, gave us an illicit extra thrill. Finally, we started laughing and couldn’t stop. My neighbour got her own back afterwards; she bought a cuckoo-clock that was highly effective in keeping me awake. I can still remember enduring endless nights just waiting for that fake wooden bird to mark the hour.

I’ve concluded that people who complain about noises made in other people’s beds probably sleep alone in their own, quiet, ones. Worldly neighbours and tolerant roommates, know instinctively that they will soon have the opportunity to keep me awake with their own moans sooner rather than later.

For me, it’s a strange experience to be on the other side of the wall, listening to other people’s sex sounds. I cringe when it happens and I put plugs in my ears so that I don’t have to hear anything at all.


Sex Sounds – The Good and The Bad is a translation of ‘El ruido en la cama‘, published in El País


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