Is it Possible to Resist Temptation?
Photo:  Lourdes Ribas. Set Design VonStrudel

Is it Possible to Resist Temptation?

Normally, being able to resist the temptation of one last drink, a cigar or a piece of chocolate makes you feel proud of yourself. This isn’t true, however, with sexual temptation. In this case, resisting a craving only generates the feeling of frustration. What normally happens is that the more you try to resist, the more desirable it is and the greater the temptation becomes.

I remember one relationship I had in which the sex wasn’t working and I became attracted to a former friend with benefits. The attraction was mutual and, as I already had a boyfriend, we decided not to meet up in person so that we wouldn’t do anything that we might regret later. We maintained our friendship by email and messenger and, sometimes, our chats became very explicit and ended up in cybersex. At first it helped me to control the desire I felt for him without feeling guilty because we’d not been together physically.

Although this worked for a while, I got to a point where I could no longer resist the temptation. I decided it was time to be with my cyber lover in person and act out all the fantasies we had shared, in writing, for months. When it happened, curiously, it didn’t seem “forbidden”, because it helped me to put a final expiration date on my relationship. I think that if I’d had been genuinely happy with my partner at the time, I could’ve resisted the temptation without a problem.

Not all sexual temptation scenarios are related to infidelities or involve harm to others. For example, it’s never advisable to have flings with coworkers. It’s clear that a flirtation at work is very risky. If you play with fire like that you can threaten your security, your income, your reputation and your future. It’s an extremely dangerous game, especially if you get it on with the boss.

On the other hand, having a clandestine lover at work can be a very morbid experience too. It’s guaranteed to make the boring days in the office much more exciting. Although, when an office fling goes wrong there’s really nothing worse because being at work can become unbearable.Then, you might wonder if it was really worth the risk.

It’s never a good thing to deprive yourself of pleasure. But, the frustration that results from not doing something we desire   can last a long time. It’s clear that succumbing to temptation can complicate our lives and those of the others around us. Often, it’s the result of a situation that, somehow, needed resolution. If the desire outweighs the risk, it’s usually better to act. Of course, everything depends on the dosage involved. In the case of alcohol, tobacco or chocolate, it is clear that a little will not cause much lasting damage.

——
Translation of ‘¿Se puede resistir la tentación?’ published in El Pais.

Pin It on Pinterest