I know very few couples who celebrate Valentines Day. In the world of erotic boutiques, however, Valentine’s Day can represent the  potentially most profitable sales opportunity of the year. Of course, giving your partner a sex toy, erotic lingerie or other adult accessories to enhance sexual intercourse on one specific night or single weekend is all well and good, if it works. In my opinion, great sex shouldn’t depend on the date.

Despite being a sex toy tester, I must confess that my experience with using couples sex toys is quite limited.There are good reasons for this. Firstly, there can be a lack of personal inspiration on my part. If, after doing a lot of solitary sex toy testing, I’m given the opportunity to have sex with someone – I take it. My toys can stay in their boxes for a while.Then, I make sure I enjoy the warmth of someone else’s skin, kissing, and the feeling expert fingers discovering my body. These are the things that not even the world’s best vibrator can provide.

Secondly, in my experience, there are only a few men who really want to explore sex toys for couples. Some men find my large collection of toys to be intimidating. The ones who exhibit genuine curiosity usually want to see me display my favorite vibrator ‘in action’. Those scenarios almost always conclude with a mutual masturbation session. That’s great, but only up until the time I reach my climax and they say: “you never come like that with me”. It isn’t particularly attractive when their initial curiosity turns into shock.

For years, I had the desire to try out a cock ring with someone. Being a big fan of rabbit-style vibrators, I thought, naturally, that it would be a similar experience, albeit the shaft would be real for a change. My experiences with cock rings have always been disappointing, sadly, despite my hopes to the contrary. Using them invariably becomes a race to decide the first one of us who says: “take that horrible thing off and do it right now!”

Lingerie is another popular choice for Valentine’s Day gifting. Contrary to male expectations, instead of removing it after the first couple of minutes of wear, it’s really horny to keep it on for as long as possible. It’s highly appropriate, therefore, to have a decent heating system at home for the moment of the big reveal. When you’re wearing it, hiding yourself under the covers makes no sense at all. In addition, it can be disastrous if you buy some lingerie for your partner and they turn out to be the wrong size. If you don’t know your partner’s correct sizing, a way of finding out discreetly would be to look at the labels on her existing lingerie collection. Sexy is the last thing that they’re going feel if their new items don’t fit them.

Another thing that can go wrong on Valentine’s Day is when someone buys you something that you don’t really like. This happened to me last year, and at first I didn’t  quite know how to react. After hesitating to choose between the polite response and honest one, I went with total honesty. Unfortunately, what was intended to be to be a thoughtful surprise for me ended up being a complete disaster. To avoid a repetition of that disappointment, I now prefer to buy my own lingerie or sex toys and just say that it’s my present to him.

While couples are unwrapping their erotic gifts for Valentine’s Day this year, I’ve decided to take a rest from using sex toys on my own. I can’t deny, however, that I’m quite up for trying a few couples toys. Of course, this discovery will depend upon the willingness of another person to get involved because they want to and not because of some arbitrary date on a calendar.
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Translation of ‘Ideas para un San Valentín inolvidable‘, published in El País.

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