Being a Gemini-the starsign of the twins – I identify with people who maintain and enjoys double lives. I’m a natural double-lifer myself and this allows me a better understanding of the problems involved. After years of being an agony aunt for many of my friends and acquaintances, I’m only too happy to offer any suggestions that will help and I understand that giving non-judgemental advice at the right time can be really important. Many double-lifers have no one that they can confide in.
I’ve discovered that Christmas, especially, can be a difficult time for anyone running parallel lives. To keep the peace, a double-lifer is expected to stay with his or her family even if that’s the last place they want to be during the holiday season.They are obliged, at all times during the festive period, to be the people that their family expect and demand them to be whether their lover or lovers are waiting for them or not.
Sometimes a double-life Christmas takes even more time, money and intelligence to organise than a normal one. It might mean buying two sets of presents, wrapping them, labelling them correctly and keeping them separate so that they never get mixed up and cause a scene. During the traditional Christmas dinner, a double-lifer will probably be reminded of the great sex they are having to postpone; with all the treats being unwrapped, plump birds being anticipated and delicious sauces being poured, who can blame them? They might sneak out after dinner to send secret texts, then go back inside, carefully, to pose for family photos with an awkward smile.
Double-lifers never get what they want for Christmas, that’s a fact. There are more arguments at home-being trapped indoors with a spouse and family for two whole days-than at any other time of the year. In January, only the divorce lawyers are really happy-business is never as good for them at any other time.
I’ve created a Spanish web-site called www.nosabesconquienduermes.com where double-lifers confess their secrets. I can say with all honesty that some of those confessions have even shocked me. I’m so interested in this subject that I’ve just written an article about it for GQ Spain that can be found in the Jan 2011 issue. In it, I interviewed many double-lifers who contacted me through my site.
The article includes some particularly interesting case studies: a young woman hiding her double-life as a prostitute from her boyfriend, a transvestite Judge and a sex-addict priest are only a few examples. The other infidelities are too numerous to mention here. I wonder what all of the featured double-lifers will be doing for Christmas?
All photographs were taken by Guy Moberly.
This post is also available in: Spanish