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No Means No

‘NO’.’ It is one of the first words that we learn. It’s doubly curious then, that there are people, boasting a very rich vocabulary, who still find it difficult to comprehend the meaning of that most basic of terms. This is what I thought when I discovered that there were classes teaching students about the nature of consent in some university campuses in my home country. The success of these studies cannot be measured by students simply understanding the significance of a ‘no’. It is also necessary that there is a clear understanding that if someone is not in a physical condition to consent, that is, if he/she is drunk, drugged or asleep, the immediate assumption must be that it is the equivalent of ‘no’.

Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol – Confessions of a Teetotaller

Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol – Confessions of a Teetotaller.

I used to love drinking wine, especially sharing a bottle with someone over dinner. I preferred red wine in the winter because I loved how it warmed my throat after I swallowed. It did not matter that it stained my lips sometimes. In summer, I used to enjoy chilled white wine. It was perfect to sit on a terrace and sip it slowly on a warm summer’s evening.

My Previous Jobs – Life Before Blogging

As an Independent woman, living in a foreign country, I have no choice but to work hard. I am determined to make both ends meet because, for me, there is no backup plan or safety net. I used to complain about the lack of employment stability, the precarious salary levels, working conditions and employment contracts here in Spain. But now, I know that real stability comes from within and I realise that flexibility is strength. Thanks to my varied experience in different sectors in the past, it is easy for me to adapt to new working situations now. Here are some of my previous job titles:

My No Alarm Lifestyle

“So, what’s the best thing about your job?” a journalist asked me once.

Was it the free sex toys to test and review? The numerous invitations to kinky parties? Seeing the fruits of my labour appear regularly in print via the medium of books and magazine articles? The simple fact that I got paid to write about my scandalous sexplorations?

No. It wasn’t any of those things. Simply put, the best thing about my job is that it allows me to live a No Alarm Life.

¿A cuántas mujeres independientes conoces?

Cuando leí El Diario de Bridget Jones durante mi adolescencia, esperaba no acabar como ella. No quería ser una mujer con más de 30 años sin hijos y soltera que pasaba las noches de sábado revolcándose en autocompasión y bebiendo vino en casa sola. Está claro que Bridget no tenía un vibrador decente por aquel entonces.

Sex Sounds – The Good and The Bad

Sex Sounds – The Good and The Bad The sex sounds that lovers make, when they are in bed together, are as unique as they are themselves. There are some noises, in particular, that fascinate me and there are others that, simply put, can turn a reasonable sex session into a truly memorable one. For me, there are also some special sounds my lover’s make that tell me, without a doubt, that what I’m doing to them is exactly right. One sex sound in bed, that always works for me, is that, staccato, pre-orgasmic-breathing that someone makes involuntarily. It reminds me so much of those moments that a group of strangers experience when they are in an amusement park and sitting, as passengers, in a rollercoaster for the first time. I imagine the chain tugging the cars up to the very top, then the pause just before the first drop. I adore the fact that some people have begun to scream even before that fall. I suppose it’s a natural safety mechanism that they use to combat their feelings of anxiety and impotence a moment before their inevitable senses of terror, exhilaration and fulfilment take over. Another one of my favourite noises made in bed is the one made by a lover when they have an orgasm so intense that it seems as though they are in sudden, and extreme, pain. My excitement and pleasure in that instant is magnified if their face registers that same intensity. If it goes on and on, as if it resembles childbirth, […]

Gloves Fetish – Venus O’Hara

Glove fetishism is a specific clothing fetish where an individual is compelled and stimulated by the sight of another person, or themselves, wearing gloves on their hands. The effectiveness of the fetish can be enhanced by the material that the glove is made of: leather, cotton, latex, PVC, satin or nylon. In gloves fetish, the actions of a gloved hand can be just as arousing as the glove itself. This can be explained by the material of the glove becoming a fetishistic “stand-in” for the skin of the wearer. Even the smallest, subtlest movements by gloved fingers, or of the whole hand, can assume tremendous visual and sound stimulus, igniting profound sensual and sexual arousal. The simple act of putting gloves on, or slipping them off the hands, can also be the fulfillment of a profound glove fetish fantasy and some glove fetishists also specify certain lengths, for example the long opera-style or short cuff length. Sometimes fetishists integrate gloves into preferred fantasy outfits like those worn by nurses, policewomen or French maids. In addition to their stylised appearance, some individuals go as far as using gloves on themselves or others as a form of sexual stimulation. Thin latex medical gloves are most commonly used by gloves fetishists but thick, brightly coloured, household rubber gloves can also have an attraction all of their own. In this set I can be seen wearing the PVC, elbow-length gloves that I wore in my short fetish film: Love Me Like You Hate Me. […]