My No Alarm lifestyle – My Life, My Body, My Rules!
Because sex isn’t everything.
Last year I was interviewed by a journalist on Skype for over an hour. We covered numerous topics such as sexuality, vibrators, and the female orgasm, to name but three. There was, however, one subject in particular that stuck out from our conversation further than all the others. And that was the fact that I live a No Alarm Life.
“That sounds like a dream come true, ” she told me.
The No Alarm Life It is not just about the presence of an alarm or lack of it. I hate schedules and I prefer to let my body-clock decide when I should wake up, eat etc. In my experience, deadlines and creativity simply do not go hand in hand.
My No Alarm Lifestyle has a huge influence on my perspective on sexuality. It has also inspired me to create a new category about my way of life. I have a lot more to say and plenty to share with the world on subjects not directly related to sex. Here you will find teetotal life, veganism, healthy living, being location independent, feminism, living the single life and more.
When I bent down to put on my socks after my shower, I couldn’t help looking at my naked vulva. Instead of feeling proud of my treasure, I suddenly felt incredibly guilty: ‘I have to give you better sex,’ I said out loud to myself. Then, I put my hand between my thighs to hug my vulva and thought about how I could find a conscious c**k to please my most intimate desires.
I have been going through a spiritual awakening for the last year. I have been spending more and more time in the conscious community. It refers to vegans, yoginis, tantrikas, zen, environmentalist, and teetotal people. Undoubtedly, sharing values is important, but I confess that in addition to my ethical reasons, I am convinced that I am in the right environment to find the conscious c**k I crave so much.
I usually wake up early, to be met by the sound of birds singing and the light of the recently risen Mediterranean sun in my face. I don’t put my blinds down as a rule because I love being stirred by that bright light. It gives me energy for the day ahead. After opening my eyes slowly, I usually reach out for one of my vibrators. I have a small collection of my favourites under my pillow, ready to use for moments just like these.
Coworking has changed my life. As a professional sex toy tester, it is safe to say that I probably have the best job in the world. But, even so, it is not absolutely perfect. The testing part of the job, although fun, must be undertaken at home and for obvious reasons. And when I am writing about the experience after the fact, it can be a very lonely affair indeed.
Beauty products do not make you beautiful. In actual fact, they do the opposite. In my opinion, they make you become reliant upon them. It is only when you wear them that you feel beautiful. This state of affairs can hardly be called empowering. I have worn makeup since I was thirteen years old. I suffered from the combination of pale skin and acne. I became obsessive about covering my face up. I used: foundation, concealer, powder, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, and lipgloss. I recall that I hated seeing my face without makeup on. I could barely look at myself in the mirror. I felt ugly.
I arrived in Barcelona on a May morning at Sants train station. I had travelled from Madrid on a night train. The reality was that I had left my job as an English teacher, my apartment and my boyfriend behind me. With a grand total of 400 euros to my name, determined not to give another English lesson as long as I lived.
Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol – Confessions of a Teetotaller.
I used to love drinking wine, especially sharing a bottle with someone over dinner. I preferred red wine in the winter because I loved how it warmed my throat after I swallowed. It did not matter that it stained my lips sometimes. In summer, I used to enjoy chilled white wine. It was perfect to sit on a terrace and sip it slowly on a warm summer’s evening.
Why don’t you just get married? That is a question I have been asked on numerous occasions, even when I did not have a boyfriend. The traditional thing, of course, would be to find the boyfriend first and then think about getting married. But, those people who have asked me this question knew that I was single. What they really wanted to ask me is why I do not try myself a man with money, get married and be financially ‘sorted’ for the rest of my life.
As an Independent woman, living in a foreign country, I have no choice but to work hard. I am determined to make both ends meet because, for me, there is no backup plan or safety net. I used to complain about the lack of employment stability, the precarious salary levels, working conditions and employment contracts here in Spain. But now, I know that real stability comes from within and I realise that flexibility is strength. Thanks to my varied experience in different sectors in the past, it is easy for me to adapt to new working situations now. Here are some of my previous job titles:
“So, what’s the best thing about your job?” a journalist asked me once.
Was it the free sex toys to test and review? The numerous invitations to kinky parties? Seeing the fruits of my labour appear regularly in print via the medium of books and magazine articles? The simple fact that I got paid to write about my scandalous sexplorations?
No. It wasn’t any of those things. Simply put, the best thing about my job is that it allows me to live a No Alarm Life.
For me, veganism is not just about healthy eating. It is a lifestyle. There is nothing I would love more than to meet a hot vegan guy. They are, however, few and far between and seemingly hard to track down. As a task, it resembles trying to source a good avocado in winter. I think culinary compatibility is incredibly important when choosing a viable partner. At this point, I don’t think I could imagine living with someone who wanted to have meat in the refrigerator, for example.
When I read Bridget Jones’ Diary during my teenage years, I hoped that I wouldn’t end up like her. That is to say, a thirty-something, childless, single woman spending my Saturday nights wallowing in self pity and drinking wine at home on my own. It’s obvious, looking back, that Bridget didn’t own a decent vibrator.