In collar fetishism, a submissive wears a collar to represent his or her status as an owned creature or as property possessed by a dominant or goddess. To be “collared” is a term that recognises the arrangement or relationship between a Top or a Bottom in a BDSM relationship.
The term “Collar” can refer to any device that symbolises the subordination of the owned partner. A standard form is a dark, leather band around the neck that incorporates fittings to permit the attachment and continued use of a leash. A leash is particularly useful when utilised in an extended role-play scenario that is centred on humiliation.
At a purely physical level, wearing a collar at home in the absence of a dominant can summon up his or her presence and bring a greater sense of emotional connection through the tactile sensation of the accessory.
They are often owned and attached by the dominant as part of a ceremony. This can also include the signing of a submission contract as well. For some, such ceremonies can be considered an equivalent to marriage.
As soon as I saw the appropriately titled, MAZE collection from Bijoux Indiscrets, I knew that I needed to find my own path into it. I did not care about forgetting the way I went in, taking a wrong turn or, indeed, solving the puzzle. I just felt the need to get lost in a confounding, and thrilling, realm of fetish fantasy.
Cleaning can be the most valuable of slave duties that can be given out as a punishment. It can be repetitive and demeaning but it always gets something done that a dominatrix would never choose to do herself. The pleasure in watching someone else scrub, polish and tidy is increased by making them wear suitable clothing. This set was intended to illustrate the “Masters and Slaves” section of my book Love Me Like You Hate Me, so I I made a special point of wearing a collar that reminded me of my slave status in the scenario. It also played against my wild, red hair and glossy, lipsticked pout. I was aware of how fetishistic the heavy, rubber gloves made even my most ordinary movements seem. It was easy to play against the slave image and the the photographer noticed too. I was reminded of his lowly position when he took the photos as I was standing in a bathtub, above him and I felt anything but submissive in his presence. It became total role-play and I indulged myself in the moment at his expense. I’m a cleaning fetishist through and through and I adored this session despite, or because of, my naturally messy nature. [nggallery id=6] Photos by Guy Moberly.
The hoodie fetish went mainstream on every news channel, in every country, this summer. Between 6th and 10th August, numerous London districts and – in a series of copycat incidents – other cities and towns in England saw widespread acts of rioting, looting and arson. When I saw all those feral teenagers out shopping aggressively in high street sports shops, electrical retailers and designer boutiques I thought to myself “it must be cold over there because everyone is wearing a hoodie”. Watching four nights of the mayhem on TV and online must have been a dream for the hoodie fetishists among us. They didn’t need to make excuses or feel self-conscious about their obsession as all of those hoodies filled the blazing, night-time streets – their only problem was that they were spoilt for choice about which one to fantasize over next. A hoodie is a sweatshirt with a hood and a very large pocket in front. It is capable of carrying those essential items for when you’re out on the street. Not only a symbol of street individuality, but a mark of brotherhood with friends, the hoodie has become unfairly associated with gang culture. Modern British media prefers to view the hoodie as a piece of primitive tribal clothing commonly seen in large quantities around street corners, public toilets and McDonald’s restaurants in town centres up and down the country, and almost certainly in any recently-stolen car. Instead of being a functional piece of casual-wear, the hoodie is seen […]
In BDSM a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or the dominant. Many submissives are high-flying professional males seeking escape from their almost overwhelming responsibilities and their power to determine the fates of their employees in public. They do this by assuming their subordinate role in private and by enjoying the fantasy of having no personal authority; by being controlled and dominated themselves. In reality, submissives tend to be people with profound intellectual and emotional depth whose sensitivities are beyond the ability of modern media or popular culture to accommodate or value. They find satisfaction by submitting themselves to someone else whose intelligence and honesty they trust above all others; someone they believe to be worthy of their worship. For some, submission means being able to recognise the greatness of a dominant by kneeling before them. In the case of male subsmissives, the act of worshipping a strong woman is contrary to religious tradition, education and nature. In the case of a female submissive, her enjoyment in complying to the whims of a dominant male seems to contradict the hard-won achievements of feminism. In reality, however, neither individual is betraying their respective genders but are, instead, choosing to dismantle their own social programming in private to define their own identity and power more fully. There are three defining principles to the submissives vital connection to his or her dominant: […]
I’ve started to develop deep hatred towards traditional menswear, in particular ties, or rather tie-wearers. After working in an office full of them, I am annoyed by the status they try to transmit when in actual fact they are nothing behind that tie. I worked in luxury real estate for two years and I was the number one agent. Nobody could touch me, I was responsible for over 90% of the agency’s operations during the time I was there. One day my boss, who was in a tie of course, looked at my attire of the day, jeans and a smart shirt. He eyed me up and down and asked me if I thought I was dressed appropriately for selling luxury apartments. He really was shooting himself in the foot by asking such a question. It was easy, I just answered back “how many apartments have you sold in your tie?”. I felt great, but the tie thing still annoys me. The perception that people think that the man in a tie is always going to me more professional than a woman when often it’s the other way around. In this luxury real estate world I got to deal with many millionaires, entrepreneurs and VIPs. And I have to say the real movers and shakers I’ve come across do not find it necessary to wear a tie to work. However, I do absolutely love retro ties. They can look really cool as they do on a woman. Here is a […]