Bondage

Bondage is the art of restraining someone or tying them up in some way that induces intense feelings of sexual gratification for both parties in opposite ways. It can be as simple as tying a simple knot or as sophisticated as Shibari or Japanese rope bondage. The person being tied up can relax and allow the person doing the tying to provide pleasure for them, which in this case is related to feelings of helplessness and lack of free-will. The individual doing the tying up derives an equal and opposite enjoyment from their own feelings of empowerment. Power, in this context of discipline for the sake of arousal, must not be abused. It will never become an issue as long as both partners approach bondage games in an atmosphere of mutual trust.

Being tied up by someone you trust implicitly allows you to feel protected and cherished in a way that can’t be experienced at any other time. Tying someone up, on the other hand, makes you feel trusted and needed by them in return.

It is taken for granted that people in high powered jobs like these kind of sexual games, because they are able to let someone else take control so that they can lose control. It is also fair to say that it is usually imaginative people who enjoy these games, because they are better able to get lost inside them.

Items that can be used for restraints can include ropes, scarves, neck-ties, ribbons, underwear or hosiery.

    Discovery Kit from We-Vibe Review for Babeland

    I must admit, I’m getting really into couple’s sex toys. This may seem like a strange statement from a professional sex toy tester. But the truth is, it has taken me lots of testing to get to this point. Whenever I got some human action, I used to prefer to keep my adult novelties in their respective boxes and enjoy some rare skin to skin action whenever I the opportunity arose. Then, I would use my silicone friends to remember my sexual encounters. And sometimes, to imagine the next ones.  But now that I’m getting a lot more sex, I have discovered that sex toys are the perfect compliment for keeping the passion alive in a relationship. The Discovery Kit from We-Vibe contains ten erotic novelties for solo or couple use to mark ten years of We-Vibe. The kit also contains a Womanizer Starlet as a result of their recent fusion with Womanizer. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and if you want to indulge in some sexual and sensual discovery with your partner, this kit is ideal. The advantage of a gift like this is that it is something you can enjoy together.  Moreover, it will inevitably bring you closer and it will certainly provide orgasmic experiences. The We-vibe Discovery Kit is ideal for those who have limited or no experience with sex toys. You can discover clitoral stimulation, G spot stimulation, dual stimulation, anal play, as well as sensual BDSM play. It is also ideal for those who […]

    Online BDSM Dating

    It seemed clear that only way to overcome this rejection was to try BDSM dating only and connect with someone based on sexual tastes instead. A place where there would be no moral judgement or unrealistic expectations. He did just that and he had to think of a kinky nickname that reflected his dominant desires. The irony was, that he actually had no experience apart from watching kinky videos and listening to my stories.

    Enter the MAZE – Vegan Leather by Bijoux Indiscrets

    Can you be spiritual and kinky?

    The MAZE collection from Bijoux indiscrets allows me to be just that.

    “Exciting paths that unveil secret directions with one true end: finding your true self”  the packaging reads.

    This philosophy certainly conforms with my current spiritual journey. I’m surrendering to the universe and seeing where it chooses to take me. It will lead me, hopefully, into the arms of someone who is as blissed-out and kinky as I am.

    Exploring New Fetishes

    Even though it was the same model, shot in the same setting by the same photographer, the end result was so different to anything we’d done before. Together we created a ‘voyeur’ set. Our intention was to capture the essence of many fetishes. They include:
    Unaji (nape fetish), upskirt fetish, hosiery fetish, downblouse fetish, foot fetish, bra fetish and dangling heel fetish and more.

    A Ticklee’s Perspective

    What I needed to explore, and capture, was my own foot voyeurism potential; the ticklee’s fetish perspective. I wanted my foot fans to see what I see: when I’m lying on my back, when my ankles are tied, when I’m looking down at my toes and when a big pair of male hands have got to work on them. The photographer had no problem with handing his camera over for me to use. As he explained “Now, I’ve got both hands free, to tickle you

    Unboxing The New Erotic Accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets

    When I saw the hip chains from the new collection by Bijoux Indiscrets, I knew that they would be ideal for this type of erotic game. There is also something very alluring about being naked except for a chain (or two). Feeling something cold and metallic draped against your skin that moves against you with each step you take is incredibly arousing. It’s like ‘I’m dressed but naked’. The hip chains highlight the curve and form of your figure even more than being naked does.

    Foot Fetish Calendar 2016

    Venus O’Hara’s official foot fetish calendar 2016. It’s that time of year again. When it was ready to put my 2016 calendar together, I knew that I wanted to produce something different from last years gallery of themed selfies. But this year, I’ve decided to produce foot fetish calendar. The more I thought about my feet on other peoples’ walls, the more innovative it seemed.

    My Feet Demand Attention

    My last foot fetish photo session with MrTickleBCN happened over four years ago now. Back then, my understanding of foot worship, tickle fetish and the specific needs of foot fetishists was not as advanced as it is now. Many things have changed for me since then, especially where my feet are concerned. Indeed, it would be fair to say that my awareness of the real erotic value that was inherent in my heels, ankles, arches, soles and toes has come on in leaps and bounds. It’s strange to think about that session now. Back then, I wore stockings because I was ashamed of my feet; I didn’t think of them as being attractive at all. Something wonderful and strange has occurred in the last twelve months. Every so often I posted selfies of my feet on social media to see just what effect they might have. It didn’t take long for my feet to develop a fanbase of appreciative foot fetishists who thought nothing of extolling the virtues of them at length. It is thanks to these aficionados that I have finally begun to love my feet and get turned on by the idea of a foot worship session. My feet demanded the attention of true foot fetishist. So, it seemed necessary and appropriate to get back in touch with MrTickleBCN on the pretext of a photoshoot. Professional pictures of him getting to work on my feet would be really valuable for online consumption by my foot fetishists as well. It wasn’t absolutely […]

    The Benefits of Bondage Tape

    I love playing bondage games and I take great pleasure from the care and attention that has to be put into perfecting some of its more elaborate forms. Something like shibari, with all of its meticulous attention to detail, can be spectacular in its aesthetics and deliciously restrictive in its function. It takes a lot of preparation and demands a lot of skill and plenty of time to execute it properly and make it authentic. Bondage tape is an easy alternative if I am feeling a little lazy or if I want a sense of surprise and spontaneity. It’s cheap to buy, quick to apply and avoids the feeling of claustrophobia that heavy, unyielding rope can cause. Bondage tape is also incredibly versatile and it can adapt to almost any variation of tying, strapping or wrapping that you can think of. Bondage tape, because of a deceptively weak appearance when it is tugged free of its cardboard reel, can fool you into imagining that it is a slightly vanilla option. It’s comical variety of bright colours and a resemblance to thin latex certainly gives that impression. The real value of bondage tape can be felt, quite literally, when layers of it begin to criss-cross your breasts and are used to secure your wrists and ankles together like metal cuffs. Finally, when the bondage tape is peeled away, the feeling it leaves on the skin is very similar to latex and so is the clammy sensation. If you want to exploit […]

    Bondage for Lazy Lovers

    Sex isn’t always mind-blowing, and if you only like explosive sex with people that you’re really attracted to, then as a singleton, you can either wait until you find someone who really inspires you (although you might be waiting a long time) or you can masturbate excessively. It can be very frustrating. This is when resorting to a “second class shag” can become tempting.  It’s never a good idea to go down to third or forth division…, one has to have some standards! By “second class” I mean someone you like, but perhaps that particular person doesn’t make you go weak at the knees, no matter how drunk you are. For me, the desire for real sex isn’t necessarily synonymous with the desire to explore another body, (I reserve that for my first class encounters). Perhaps I just want to be selfish and it’s in these second division shag situations that I’ve found that bondage is the perfect solution for lazy lovers, as my passive state is justified all of a sudden.   Thanks to a couple of knots, it can suddenly seem like a first class shag. Photos by Lourdes Ribas For more Foot Fetish and Bondage photos form this session, see the full set (32 photos) in theMEMBER’S AREA Members | Billing Support

    Ankle Fetish

    There is a primitive thrill associated with properly applied ankle restraint. The heady eroticism that is experienced through it can often be combined with an instinctive response that can only be described as animal in nature. Ankle restraint does not have to be part of a bondage game to reveal its sexual potential. Having doggy-style sex is extremely horny on its own terms but if my lover takes the opportunity to grab my ankle, when I am powerless to resist, our excitement can be multiplied. I am not only immobilised but I am suddenly turned into a submissive creature at the mercy of my lover’s whims and capriciousness. It doesn’t get much better. Even the sensation of wearing something around the ankles is arousing; I am thinking about a particular pair of sandals, that I bought recently, that have a slightly abrasive ankle-strap. I make sure that the strap is always a little too tight when I am out walking. That subtle pressure on my ankles makes me feel more secure, more aware of that special part of my foot. No one walking past me would ever know that my feet feel “strapped-in”. They would only see me smiling if they had the time to notice anything at all. On the other hand, a fetishist would spot a clever little ankle detail on a pair of high-heels, or boots, before anything else. When bondage is applied to my ankles, the result can leave me feeling like a mermaid. Although handcuffs can […]

    Fifty Shades of Grey: You’ve read the book, seen the trailer, now what?

    Fifty Shades of Grey is trending again and it feels as though it never went away. The truth is, it’s always there now, in the back of our aroused minds. It is, in no small part, the responsibility of its author, E.L. James that 2012 will be remembered as a watershed for erotic literature and the portrayal of BDSM as a viable and peculiarly effective ingredient of modern sexuality. Now, we have seen the first trailer to the forthcoming Fifty Shades of Grey film. Everyone seems to be watching it, talking about it or avoiding it in case it does not live up to their private visualisation of the two main characters involved. Nevertheless, everyone will have to wait until Valentine’s Day 2015 to see it… If the length of the wait seems like a special type of torture then do not get overly concerned. Fifty Shades of Grey is all about BDSM. The punishing delay until fans of the books can see the film seems quite appropriate when you look at it from that perspective. If you need to keep yourself and your own personal Mr Grey distracted and entertained while you are both waiting patiently, then I can think of no better way than to take full advantage of the official Fifty Shades of Grey sex toy collection. The amazing variety of products it comprises will guarantee that neither of you will ever get bored. The collection includes toys such as vibrators, ben wah balls, G spot vibrator, […]

    A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

    Introducing a little BDSM into your relationship can be a really great way to intensify things, learn your limits and become closer to your partner, but it can also be really intimidating–especially if you’ve never dabbled in it before. Perhaps you’ve been kicking around this site for awhile or you just stumbled here after wondering what BDSM was really like, either way, you’re not alone if you’re worried. Beginning a BDSM adventure can be exciting, but it’s going to take communication, honesty, and an open mind. Use this as your beginners guide and then continue to physically and intellectually explore your options. Communication Communication is key to having a successful and pleasurable BDSM relationship. You can’t dive in without discussing the semantics, rules, limits, and safe words. Make sure your partner has a full understanding of what BDSM will entail, what the different roles (dom/sub) mean and who will be who. It won’t work if you both want to be the sub or vice versa. You will also need to discuss what your limits will be. Are you okay with anal play? Paddling? What level of pain or loss of control are you willing to go to? You want to make sure you are both on the same page. It’s fun to push limits, but you don’t want to push them so far that it becomes scary or someone gets hurt. The best way to ensure no one gets hurt is to set up a safe word that you can […]

    Outdoor Fetish

    Although Fetish photography usually works best when it’s done in a controlled environment like a dungeon or a specially decorated studio, I like to push the boundaries. One way to do this is to perform discreetly in a public place like a pizza restaurant. Part of the fetish value can be found in the simple fact that it happens without the other customers realising that it is. Another advantage is that the event occurs halfway between a closed set and the outside world. There’s nothing quite like going outside for real though and shooting a fetish set where bystanders, voyeurs and joggers might catch a glimpse adds even more to the experience. When I’m posing outside, I have no idea what might happen. Having an unknown number of people in the background is always a risk. They may, or may not, even be aware that something provocative might be happening before their eyes or just at the periphery of their vision. What made this shoot even more thrilling and intimidating was that it took place in an area of dense woodland. That type of environment can attract and hide any number of onlookers. Some could be totally innocent. Others might have different reasons for being there. As I shed my clothes, my imagination began to suggest any number of perverse stories in my mind. I’d planned the shoot well in advance and I thought that I had everything under control and all eventualities accounted for. Then, in the distance, or […]

    More Tickle Torture

    Even though the summer has faded, the effect of “50 Shades of Grey” still lingers. I’m sitting at my writing desk and I’m thinking about sex. Nothing unusual there you might think. It seems to me that everyone is caught up in the meaning and uses of BDSM in their own lives and relationships. Something has been forgotten in all of those TV discussions focused on strap-ons, handcuffs and spankings. I haven’t heard any debates recently about sex and humour. Have we forgotten how to be dirty in the bedroom and actually laugh while we are doing it? I haven’t. When I think back to those times when I was turned on and trying hard not to laugh I always end up remembering the same afternoon. It was the day I was being photographed by a tickle fetishist and my ankles were tied onto a horizontal metal bar while I was blindfolded and sitting on an office chair. The tight white panties I had chosen for the shoot would look scandalous I hoped. Now that a reasonable amount of time has passed since the shoot I can appreciate just how unusual it really was. It was like a job at the time and I took it seriously. The photographer was committed to getting the most out of the session. He had rehearsed his tickling plans in perfect detail. When my stockinged legs were opened and raised  and the blindfold was fitted on my face I was defenceless. I only remember […]

    BDSM for Beginners – Terminology

    BDSM is a perfect festive treat for the Christmas holidays. That’s fine if you know what you’re doing. You might be new to BDSM. You and your partner might still want to use your time off together to try it out anyway. Here are my 10 Basic BDSM Terms for Beginners. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. DOMINANT (also dom, domme): the one in charge. SUBMISSIVE (also sub) the one who gives themselves freely for the pleasure of another. SWITCH an individual who “switches” between dominant and submissive roles. A switch can be both a sadist and a masochist. VANILLA refers to non-BDSM sex, “vanilla sex”.A person who doesn’t do BDSM is a “vanilla” SUBMISSION CONTRACT a formal document that defines the relationship of a sub to his or her domme. A contract might describe sexual arrangements, rules and punishment, as well as defining day to day duties. SAFEWORD a word or phrase used to stop a BDSM game. Safewords are defined beforehand and should be respected by the dominant> A common safe word is “red” (stop) or “yellow” (approaching the limit). Photo by Guy Moberly from Love Me Like You Hate Me. BONDAGE the practice of restricting a person’s bodily movements for erotic pleasure. FETISH a “fetish” is an object, non-reproductive body part or action whose presence or existence causes excitement and/or arousal in an individual. An object might be latex or heels, a non-sexual body part could be legs or feet and […]

    Love Me Like You Hate Me – in Practice

    As a qualified teacher I felt a unique thrill when I used my book – “Love Me Like You Hate Me”, co-written with Erika Lust, as the key text for my first live fetish class. I’ve often been asked about whether I would consider doing a live fetish show or class to demonstrate my theories. I had entertained the idea a couple of times already but had never taken it really seriously. Recently, however, on a night out, a club owner asked me how much I would charge for a fetish show. I was really intrigued and promised him that I would give it some thought. Perhaps it was the time to do it for real. A week later, while I was enjoying a drink with a friend, I found myself telling him about the proposition from the week before about the fetish show. He thought it was a great idea and he told me I should go for it. By chance, he had some old friends of his flying into Barcelona that weekend and he had been trying to organise a surprise for them that they would never forget. He offered me the opportunity to use his friends as guinea pigs for my very first live fetish class. It seemed to be the perfect exchange for both of us and I agreed immediately. Then, it just got better when he offered me the assistance of a female slave “Lila” who would serve me for the evening. It was obvious […]

    Tickle Torture (Tickle Fetish)

    This photo-set was shot by a tickle fetish expert. It was my first set based on this kink and I’d been anticipating it for weeks before it finally happened. I have very sensitive feet so the excitement built up for days beforehand. My objective was to produce a set that captured all of my natural and unrehearsed reactions to the random, unexpected tickles on the soles of my feet. Posing for photo-shoots usually means smiling and pouting in a practised way. This time, the value of the images would rest in my spontaneous responses captured in the moment. They might not be my prettiest looks but the honesty of my laughter would make the point. I arrived at the photographer’s studio and I showed him my extensive collection of stockings. We’d agreed that the right pair would be an important part of the success of the set. He explained his ideas for the scenario which included sitting me on a hard office chair, tying my ankles to a horizontal metal bar and placing a blindfold on me. When we began, the reality of the ankle restraint became clear. He used his skilled hand first and the delicious tension in the pauses between his abrupt tickles reminded me of being spanked. When it got too much I told him to stop. Then, unknown to me, he began to use his “secret tickling implements” and, because of the blindfold, I had no idea what they might be. Even with his skills, I […]

    Choosing the right panties

    It’s never easy to choose the right panties to wear for the day ahead. Sometimes it’s impossible to choose sensibly, especially if you’re a panty fetishist like me and you own over a hundred different pairs. In that case, the task is almost impossible. There are a few factors that must always be taken into consideration: Most women choose panties that seem similar to the bra that they are wearing, even if they only have a vague resemblance. I love the mismatched look and I always go for it. It’s really important to choose undies that work with your outerwear and not against it. For instance, panties with frills or ruffles never work and should be avoided outside of a photographers studio or someone’s bedroom. Any panties that encourage cameltoes are never recommended at the best of times. I also wonder how many girls take the time to do a proper “whale-tail test” in the morning. If they don’t, then everyone standing behind them in a supermarket as they lean down into a cold cabinet to find some frozen peas, will wish they had. It’s also important to consider whether your choice will be seen by anyone else, whether it’s a lover, doctor or paramedic. For me, doing sport means wearing comfortable panties, doing a photo-shoot requires something a little over the top and my heaps of designer underwear fit the bill perfectly. If I mean to seduce, my panty choice could be anything from simple cotton to lacy black […]

    Thigh-high fetish

    Thigh-high boots are considered by many to be erotic or kinky. They are used as fetish clothing in boot fetishism and shoe fetishism. Cheaper thigh-high boots are often associated with prostitution or sadomasochism. The image that they portray is so powerful that it has been adopted by the mainstream fashion industry. Thigh-high boots as articles of fetish clothing date back at least to the 1950s when Irving Klaw used them in the costuming of the models in his erotic photography, including Bettie Page. Since that time, they have been a staple of fetish and adult photography. In the summer, I cut an old pair of jeans down to make some shorts. I looked at the denim legs I had left over and, instead of throwing them away, I had an idea of how to use them in a photo-set. I decided to play around with the idea of thigh-high fetish and this is the result. Featured photography by Stephan

    Bondage for Beginners – Venus O’Hara

    I received an advance set of Love Me Like You Hate Me handcuffs from Bijoux Indiscrets even before the book was slated for printing and I knew that it was essential to produce some pictures of me using them to feature in its pages when it did appear. It isn’t a secret that I’m no fan of handcuffs so I was surprised at my intuitive response to these. The material that they’re made of was firm against my fingers yet supple against the softness of my lower arms.They were perfect for wrist and ankle restraint and I enjoyed them from the start. I found out quite quickly that they can be tied together, attached to clothing and secured to furniture but the best part for beginners is knowing that they can escape from them when they want to…if they want to. For beginners, Bondage is the art of restraining someone or tying them up in some way that induces intense feelings of sexual gratification. The person being tied up can relax and allow the person doing the tying to provide pleasure for them while deriving an equal and opposite enjoyment from their own feelings of empowerment. Power, in this context of discipline for the sake of arousal, must not be abused. It will never become an issue as long as both partners approach bondage games in an atmosphere of mutual trust. Tying up a partner is only just the preamble; taking advantage of their restraint is where the fun really […]

    A Polyfetish Dream

    I’m a polyfetishist and it must seem like I’m being promiscuous with my affections towards different kinks. A lot of monofetishists seem to think it must be a confusing way to live but – for me – it couldn’t be any easier or more exciting. I can’t imagine being completely faithful to just one fetish. How other people manage to do it is a mystery to me. I know people who live for those moments when they can indulge themselves in a single kink like tickling, smoking or foot fetish.These individual obsessions – to a monofetishist – exclude all others in their significance and I’d never criticise anyone’s fidelity to their chosen fetish. I adore tickling, smoking and foot fetish myself but if I focused on any one of them all the time I’d get really bored, really quickly. For me, every fetish photo-session needs to have a different theme to keep it as fresh and provocative as possible. In the winter – for example – fur fetish, tight cardigan fetish and stocking fetish seem more appropriate to shoot. In the summer though, wet clothes fetish, and sploshing get me going faster. Nothing remains the same and there are new fetishes developing all the time. Even something as recent and controversial as the hooded sweatshirt has produced it’s own, powerful ‘hoodie fetish with a – rapidly increasing – group of enthusiasts. I appreciate the devotion they show to their kink because I see the fetish value in almost everything around […]

    My First Book: Love Me Like You Hate Me – Venus O’Hara

    In this era of 24/7 social networking, anyone can call themselves a writer because their words can be published online whenever they feel like it. I’ve always had plenty to say and my free website was the first ongoing outlet for my views and opinions. At the start, writing my posts was something fun I did on a Sunday afternoon; it was a hobby. Within three months though, I had an offer to co-author a book with Erika Lust and, suddenly, my hobby had to be taken a lot more seriously. The masochist in me enjoyed the unhelpful conditions I suffered to complete the project. For example, I always sat in the same old vintage leather chair-featured in many of my photo-sets-to get the work done. I wore old jogging bottoms, an ancient hoodie and, as it was during the winter months, I was usually wrapped up in a blanket that my grandma had sent to me; it had kept generations of O’Haras warm and I was very glad to have it. The door to my balcony was broken and no matter how much furniture I piled up against it, I still heard the rattle as it let in another bitter draft of cold air. My fingers were frozen and I could see my breath as I typed, busily, on the keyboard of my tired, unreliable laptop. I’ve got a new one now, thank God. I knew, even then, that I would look back at the hardship of the writing […]

    Bathroom Bondage

    The following images were styled and produced by myself to illustrate my book LOVE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME, written with Erika Lust. My objective in producing this set was to demonstrate that the power of bondage can be expressed and projected as easily from ordinary household objects and environments as it can from high-end fetish apparatus. In fact, the ability to fetishize familiar routines-things that we all do everyday-has to be the sexiest use of DIY that I know. Everyone showers or bathes. We know our bathrooms more intimately than any single place other than our bedrooms. In Barcelona on a cold February day I found myself abandoned in a strange bathroom. There was no real warmth to speak of, just two weak heaters to warm me up. The slippery mosaic tiles were freezing to my feet and as I got into the bath, my discount heels threatened to slip on the tiny, cold trickle of water left in the bottom. I was grateful to be wearing even a skimpy silk top, blue, sequinned knickers and my slave collar. Even my old snakeskin scarf, reworked as a blindfold, gave me a little bit of relief from the numbing cold. My shoulder blades, the small of my back and my firm derrière lay flat against the chilly porcelain. I felt my soft skin rise in lines of goosebumps and I was so drained of warmth that I couldn’t keep a single thought in my head. The photographer coiled the ordinary […]

    My Love Hate Relationship with my Legs – Venus O’Hara

    I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my legs over the years. I was very self conscious when I was about twelve, I started shaving them just up to the knees. In summer the boys at school used to pick on me saying that they liked my white socks, when in actual fact they were referring to the milk bottle colour of my legs. When I was around sixteen I started experimenting with fake tan, which wasn’t as good as it is now, and I had the orange knee problem. I couldn’t find a solution for having tanned legs and a few years ago it no longer was a problem as I could no longer expose my knees in the summer due to the appearance of an ugly varicose vein just behind my right knee. Luckily I had it operated on two years ago and now the scar is hardly visible. Since the operation I’ve been determined to flaunt my legs. It took a long time, lots of fake tan disasters and even an operation, but I got there in the end. Enjoy! Venus O’Hara Photography by Andrew O’Hara.

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