BDSM for Beginners – Terminology

BDSM is a perfect festive treat for the Christmas holidays. That’s fine if you know what you’re doing. You might be new to BDSM. You and your partner might still want to use your time off together to try it out anyway.

Here are my 10 Basic BDSM Terms for Beginners.

BDSM

stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.

DOMINANT

(also dom, domme): the one in charge.

SUBMISSIVE

(also sub) the one who gives themselves freely for the pleasure of another.

SWITCH

an individual who “switches” between dominant and submissive roles. A switch can be both a sadist and a masochist.

VANILLA

refers to non-BDSM sex, “vanilla sex”.A person who doesn’t do BDSM is a “vanilla”

SUBMISSION CONTRACT

a formal document that defines the relationship of a sub to his or her domme. A contract might describe sexual arrangements, rules and punishment, as well as defining day to day duties.

SAFEWORD

a word or phrase used to stop a BDSM game. Safewords are defined beforehand and should be respected by the dominant> A common safe word is “red” (stop) or “yellow” (approaching the limit).

Photo by Guy Moberly from Love Me Like You Hate Me.

BONDAGE

the practice of restricting a person’s bodily movements for erotic pleasure.

FETISH

a “fetish” is an object, non-reproductive body part or action whose presence or existence causes excitement and/or arousal in an individual. An object might be latex or heels, a non-sexual body part could be legs or feet and tickling or smoking are examples of actions.
“Fetish” is also used as an adjective that relates to anything connected to the world of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadomasochism) such as fetish wear or fetish clubs.

FINANCIAL DOMINATION

(even more fun at Christmas time) when a dominant has complete control over the income and savings of their sub. They have the discretion to use those funds for their own enjoyment whenever they wish.>
If you can’t think of the ideal gift for the one you love to hate then order them a copy of my book – Love Me Like You Hate Me – instead.

Don’t forget to order one for yourself as well…

…if you’re allowed to.

BUY ON AMAZON

22 thoughts on “BDSM for Beginners – Terminology”

    1. You’re still the only voice out there who explains the power of financial domination properly. Thanks. xxxx

  1. You are correct, of course. When it comes to spanking, in particular, it is always better to receive than to give. A red arse is far better than a red nose.

    1. If it’s ur buns we’re talkin about I’ll be a real giver of the spanky redness…ho-ho-ho

  2. Christmas is almost upon us. I am beginning to dream of figgy puddings and rich, sweet, plum delights. I like to picture you rolling around in them, spoiling your apron and with brandy butter trickling down your bottom-crack. Delicious and so festive!

    1. I asked my wife if she’d buy me your new calendar for Xmas. 🙁 Hopefully better luck with the book.

  3. Unlike a Crimbo goose, this cool post proves that – with you – there’s more than enough goodness to go round and satisfy everyone.

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