Photos by Lourdes Ribas

An Unforgettable night of strap-on sexplorations

I had always wanted to try strap-on sex. This was due to the simple fact that I could determine the size, the texture and the design of the fake phallus that would be attached to it. For me, the most important thing about a real penis is not it’s size per se. It is my preference that it should be absolutely rigid when it matters most. I always imagined that a strap-on must be fantastic for this very reason because its perpetual stiffness was guaranteed. I was intrigued about using one with another woman, especially because I could both give and receive its pleasures. Fortunately, I have a female friend who shared my curiosity.

The next time we were going to see each other would be at the wedding of a mutual friend of ours. We agreed to make it even more of an occasion, for ourselves, by indulging in some strap-on sex in our hotel. When we checked-in, I was immediately confused when the receptionist informed us that our packages have arrived. She smiled and handed 4 boxes over to us. My friend grinned and I realised that they were the harnesses. They had been pre-ordered online and she had specified that they should be shipped directly to the hotel. It was clearly going to be a memorable stay.

strap-on-venus

We were eager to try all four of them but I was anxious because the packages seemed rather large. Later that night, in the privacy of our bedroom, I discovered that they came in three sizes: big, huge and seemingly impossible. One of them was like a classic rabbit vibrator with those little ears that I love so much. Another one was bulbous and was a realistic flesh colour, complete with veins. The third was transparent and could simulate ejaculation after its ‘balls’ were loaded with lubricant. The last one was a double harness.

We pressed a wet towel underneath the door, attacked the mini-bar, smoked and had our own exclusive party. We talked about our friend and how she was getting married the next day. The idea that she would be committing herself to a single penis seemed strange considering we had a choice of four different ones that we could evaluate before the ceremony. Then, the big moment arrived and we began the testing.

strap-on-venus

We took turns wearing the different harnesses, of course. When I was on the receiving end, I was aware that I was having all the pleasure to myself. At first it was difficult to find a comfortable position that suited both of us. It was not particularly pleasurable, when I wore one, because the belt was uncomfortable. At that moment I realised that, for a man, performing the sexual act requires quite a lot of effort than I thought. To be honest, I don’t know how they do it. But, I am very glad that they do.

Needless to say, it was an unforgettable night. At 6 o’clock in the morning, however, the hotel manager knocked briskly. My naked friend jumped out of bed and ran over to the bedroom door. But, she was too late. The manager had already walked in. The floor was decorated with discarded underwear, empty sachets of lube and all four harnesses with their dildos prominently displayed. He was clearly not as content as we were. We tried to apologise and shrug it off but it seemed as though we had kept a lot of the other guests awake with our sexual shenanigans. He had received numerous complaints. The scandalous nature of our celebrations could hardly be denied because the evidence of our strap-on party was strewn all around us. It might have looked bad but we insisted that he should, at the very least, have waited for us to answer the door.

Needless to say it was an unforgettable night of strap-on sexplorations.


Translation of ‘Probando penes falsos’, published in El País.

Pin It on Pinterest