Uberrime Dildos Review
Most people think that sex toys should be hidden away in a bedside cabinet, ready for when you need them, along with your condoms, kleenex, and a stash of erotica. No one should be able to see them, except for your partner, if you have one that is.
As a professional sex toy tester, I require a more suitable storage system than a bedside cabinet. I have numerous themed plastic storage boxes in which my toys are classified according to their category: G-spot, wand massagers, couples toys, clitoral stimulators and many more.
There are, however, some sex toys that are simply too beautiful to hide away.
I love to display my most decorative dildos on my bookshelves. There are several of them, all standing to attention, proudly. In my apartment, they’re the only visible clue that I’m not quite conventional. But, they have become such a part of my own ‘normal’ day-to-day existence that I hardly realise that they are there. When I have guests, I sometimes forget that these orgasmic objects can cause offence, discomfort and random blushing.
I had some workmen in my apartment recently. I thought nothing of it when one of them asked me if he could change into his work overalls in my kitchen. He had a cheesy grin on his face when he emerged and it seemed a little odd. When I went in there afterwards – to make myself a cup of loose-leaf green tea – I was mortified to discover that I had left Night Shade, an impressive dildo from Uberrime, on my kitchen worktop. It had been included as part of an orgasmic breakfast photo that I had taken earlier. I wondered what the workman must have thought? In retrospect, I do wonder if I should have hidden it away in shame…
When I saw Uberrime dildos on social media, I was in awe of how strikingly beautiful they were. I must admit that I usually find the majority of realistic dildos come off as quite vulgar and lewd but the celebration of colours in these dildos makes them seem beautiful, fascinating and collectable.
Good morning! I couldn’t resist making an orgasmic breakfast with all three of my @uberrimedildos @peepshowtoys On the menu today, squeezed orange and lemon juice, spelt and poppyseed crackers with tapenade and sundried tomatoes. Pineapple, soya yoghurt with white chia seeds. Green tea. Yummy! #myorgasmicbreakfast #myorgasmiclifestyle #vegan #plantpower #plantbased #sextoy #sextoytester #sexfluencer #noedit #nofilter
A realistic phallic-shaped toy is not usually pleasing to the eye. Despite this, is undeniably ergonomic and stimulating; Mother Nature is wise in her design. The shape of these Uberrime toys, with their veins and curves, is so convincing that when I grab a hold of one, I can’t help blushing and giggling a little; it’s as if I’m holding the appendage of a very well-endowed alien. The kaleidoscopic range of colours in the range makes them orgasmic ornaments in their own right.
I received 3 Uberrime dildos from Peepshow Toys:
Uberrime Splendid Gentleman Dual-Density Dildo
The most convincingly realistic one. With a forward curve and prominent head, the Splendid Gentleman is designed to provide optimal G-spot or prostate stimulation. The toy’s two layers of silicone create an authentic feel: soft to the touch, yet firm when squeezed. The Splendid Gentleman’s vein-like texture adds yet another level of thrilling sensation.
Helios Sun God Fantasy Silicone Dildo
The Helios Sun God Dildo is a highly-textured fantasy dildo with a large head that gives way to seamless – shaft-length – spirals that flare at the base. Coloured with UV-reactive fluorescent pigments, Helios is sure to generate some heat and light in your bedroom! It’s very broad and patterned with superhuman textures. An awesomely wide head caters to extra-demanding people who appreciate and demand a more than significant girth.
Not for the faint of heart, the Night King Dildo by Uberrime is a handcrafted fantasy toy that won’t leave you wanting more. Inspired by the icy Game of Thrones character, the Night King features a distinctly different phallic head and an incredibly detailed, intoxicatingly textured shaft. This dildo’s extreme length is ideal for depth play or for wrapping-around during external stimulation. It possesses a normal girth but its astounding length allows for added visual impact and extra-deep internal explorations.
MATERIAL: Silicone. Compatible with water-based lubricant.
USABILITY: No instructions leaflet is necessary. There are many ways to enjoy these dildos: as a strap-on harness with a female partner, for pegging a male partner, using in combination with a clitoral stimulator or if you just crave amazing degrees of penetration when there are no suitable candidates around to provide it. And, they look so impressive that they could pass for provocative examples of decorative dildo art.
But today, I’m going to use one with a clitoral stimulator and I can’t wait!
The Uberrime dildos are wide, so they took me a little while to insert and urge inwards. As I pushed them in deeper, I experienced amazingly intense sensations. The firm, yet pliable, textures are so reminiscent of the real thing that I began to crave authentic penetration. I thought about that – and nothing else – as I stimulated my clitoris. It didn’t take very long until I began bouncing in a fit of high-volume ecstasy.
ORGASM-O-BILITY: I used them hands-free, in combination with a clitoral stimulator. As I got to work on my clitoris, I was amazed by how authentic the penetrative experience was, even if it was a bit ‘out of this world’ at the same time. On another occasion, I used them with a partner as well and he was shocked by their prodigious size. When he was fatigued, he penetrated me with the Night King – the longest one. It is so long that part of the shaft can be used as a handle while the rest is being inserted.
PROS: Beautiful design. They’re far too good to keep in a box. Versatile.
CONS: If you prefer more diminutive phalluses, look for another Uberrime model to satisfy your needs.
- Using with a harness for girl-on-girl action, or with a male partner for pegging.
- Those individuals who think size and girth are important factors in penetration.
- Demanding people, of any gender, looking for a thoroughly impressive, non-vibrating, sex toy.
- A conversation-starting ornamental piece.
Get your very own Uberrime dildos from Peepshow Toys here.
Obtain a 10% discount with the code Venus10