Words matter. Especially when it comes to seduction. I used to love going on dating sites and apps whenever I had gone for an extended period without sex. It often seemed easier to meet my potential lovers this way, as opposed to going out to a bar or to a nightclub. One clear advantage was that I could do it anywhere: at home, in a cafe, and even on public transport. All I needed was my mobile and a wifi connection. Whether I was looking for a casual fling or something more, I used to just publish my profile and then wait for the messages to arrive. As I looked through my inbox that was full of messages from my wannabe next lovers, I must admit that I didn’t look at the profile pictures; I paid much more attention to their writing style. The Dating Profile Let me explain. I always ignored those typical “hi, how r u” messages, no matter how attractive the sender was. It just screamed ‘copy and paste’ to me. I imagined that they had probably sent dozens of identical messages to anyone with a heartbeat and they were just waiting to see who replied. I was always more likely to respond to someone who had actually taken the time to read my profile and make the effort to write something that was obviously personal to me. Attention to detail is something that I really admire in people. Cybersex Session Personally, I can’t tolerate spelling mistakes […]
Sex & Relationships
This blog was initially intended to be a fetish blog. Soon after its creation in 2009, I began collaborating with a wide variety of Spanish media outlets including: GQ, El País, Playboy, Objetivo Bienestar, Primera Linea, Interviu and Antena 3 TV amongst others. As this was at a time that predated the 50 Shades of Grey era, I was asked to write about general sex and relationships topics .
In this category, you will find translations of my articles that were originally published in Spanish media. Including topics such as: masturbation, orgasms, infidelity, sexual confessions, sex tips, singles, dating, online dating, cybersex, sexting, advice, myths and much more.
Articles are published every Friday.
If you want to read my sex toy reviews click here.
Sex Toys for Men: Ultimate Guide for Men and Finding the Perfect Sex Toy!
Written by Lee B. (Owner & Founder of DiskretAdultLife) When you hear ‘sex toys for men’, you most likely think of cheap masturbation sleeves and blow up sex dolls. But sex toys for men have come a long way. As sex toys become less “taboo” and people become more open to the idea of using toys for pleasure both by themselves and in a relationship; it has started a revolution. Sex toys for men are now chic, classy, elegant, and stylish. Some are true works of art and more of jewelry piece than something you hide in your dresser drawer. As both men and women become more accepting of there needs, wants, and desires the sex toy industry responds with better and better products. The entire idea of “caring less about what others think and doing what makes you happy” has really come tenfold in the past 10 years. So, what does that mean for us men? What should we be looking for in a sex toy for men? Should we buy one for our partner? Where do we even start if we want something half way decent? What’s the best way to use a male sex toy? Let us (the experts) help answer all your questions. These are common questions, and let me tell you guys, you’re not alone! Sex Toys for Men: 101 Okay guys, maybe you’ve heard whispers of sex toys for men and the limitless pleasure they can bring, or perhaps you’ve owned some for years. […]
Online STD Testing
If you’re in the US, take a look at www.STDCheck.com It’s a discreet online STD testing service.
HOW IT WORKS:
Step 1: Online or by phone. Choose from a 10-Test Panel or individual tests.
Step 2: With over 4,500 testing centres nationwide, there’s bound to be one near you. The testing process only takes a few minutes.
Step 3: Test results are emailed to you within 1-2 days.
My Fantasies with a Much Older Man
‘I can’t stop thinking about an older man.’ I confessed. My friend raised his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘But much older than you. A man in his eighties.’ I specified. My friend burst out laughing, not quite believing what he was hearing. But I didn’t. I was being very serious, so I decided to elaborate. His age and experience not only accentuate my youth and beauty, but he also makes my clitoris throb uncontrollably. His formal nature that is typical of his generation is a total turn on. But I want to encourage him to forget the formality and do what he has always craved and never dared to do.
Craving Conscious Connections – Sex & Spirituality
When I bent down to put on my socks after my shower, I couldn’t help looking at my naked vulva. Instead of feeling proud of my treasure, I suddenly felt incredibly guilty: ‘I have to give you better sex,’ I said out loud to myself. Then, I put my hand between my thighs to hug my vulva and thought about how I could find a conscious c**k to please my most intimate desires.
I have been going through a spiritual awakening for the last year. I have been spending more and more time in the conscious community. It refers to vegans, yoginis, tantrikas, zen, environmentalist, and teetotal people. Undoubtedly, sharing values is important, but I confess that in addition to my ethical reasons, I am convinced that I am in the right environment to find the conscious c**k I crave so much.
Butlers in the Buff – A Celebration of Masculine Beauty
Did you know that masculine beauty can improve female friendships? Now, isn’t that a wonderful thing?
I was pondering that idea when I discovered Cheeky Butlers in the Buff in Marbella Banus. Their service is a fantastic way to invest in your friendships while extolling the numerous virtues of the male body.
Red Hot Period Sex
She was the first woman that I had ever been intimate with and she made me question my sexuality. I felt a desire for her that I hadn’t felt for a man since my first love. I couldn’t get enough of her and when we walked along the street, hand in hand, I felt like the luckiest woman in the world. Even a simple thing like watching tv, snuggled-up on the sofa, was highly erotic, especially when our hands inevitably started to wander across each other’s bodies again.
Living with Machismo
Live, Learn, Share, Inspire. This is the philosophy that underpins my work. Unfortunately, the things that I have to share are not always orgasmic. Some of them can be very much the opposite, in fact. Having to live with machismo is one of them. If I had to be more specific, I would term it the wilful abuse of masculine power. It is something I have experienced and I feel that I have to share my observations of it.
The rules of no-strings sex
Sex dating is getting increasingly popular, thanks not only to the internet but also to people’s mentalities getting more progressive over time. You might be at a point in your life right now where you’re not with anyone but you still desire some sort of company, or simply put you’re just looking at getting laid without the hassles that relationships can bring onto the table. So maybe sex dating could be a good thing for you, but before you jump into it there are a few rules that you should know to make your quest for sex easier and more successful.
Is It A Sin To Be Unfaithful?
Is it a sin to be unfaithful?
Although I do not practise any religion, every time I have an orgasm convinces me a little more that there must be a higher power. Besides, whoever I am in bed with, and whatever their name is, the name I loudly proclaim during my moments of ecstasy is ‘God’, as in ‘oh my GOD!’
Why Do Periods Start When You Least Want Them To?
It was supposed to have been the trip of my lifetime. A week in a five-star hotel in the Caribbean. The sea views were supposed to be amazing. One whole week of premium chilling out, only to be interrupted by great sex-sessions with my amazing boyfriend at that time. As I crossed-off the dates on my calendar, I became more and more excited about it. What could possibly go wrong?
Why Don’t Women Make the First Move?
Why Don’t Women Make the First Move?
This is a topic that came up during an English Language Workshop that I gave in Barcelona a couple of years ago. It was to a group of lesbians, which made a change. I had just got to the end of the workshop when a girl raised her hand. I smiled and nodded to her.
“Aren’t you going to teach us some techniques for making the first move’ She asked “You know, tips for pulling?”
Confessions of a Sex Toy Tester
When I was a student, I used to work as a waitress to get some extra money. I was willing to work in any type of restaurant except Italian ones. I have nothing against Italians. Quite the contrary. In fact, Italian was my absolute favourite food at the time. It was just that I was afraid that I would end up getting sick and tired of it. Because I loved it so much, I was not going to let that happen.
Sex and The Single Life in Your Thirties
When I was 20 years old, I thought that reaching the age of thirty and being single would be a disaster. At that age, I speculated that my body clock would be ticking louder than ever. Back then, each time I had sex I would be wondering if the man I was with could be a viable candidate for being the father of my children. Now that I am in my thirties, however, my opinion about this has changed completely.
High Heel Fetish
I have always envied women who are able to walk easily and elegantly in high heels without falling over. Sadly, I do not have as much luck as they do. It is very difficult for me to find shoes that combine sex appeal with comfort. The few times that I have gone out wearing high heels have ended up the same way and bruises are something that are never thought of as sexy. Because of my clumsiness, I only wear heels for photo sessions and sex sessions.
Sex Blogger Sacrifices
Sex blogger Sacrifices
I like to imagine that I’ve got the best job in the world and I probably have. It has been 7 years since I established my website. Now I work full-time as a sex blogger. My job has several obvious advantages: free sex toys, complimentary lingerie and most importantly, no alarm-clock in the morning. When I am at a party with other professionals and it is my turn to explain what I do, I always end up impressing them by having the coolest job of anyone by far. It does not really matter that it is not the most well paid.
The Thrill of Sex in Hotels
“You’re really loud today” someone once informed me in the middle of the sex act. Louder than normal? I pondered this when I recalled the shuddering orgasm that I experienced a few minutes earlier. Yes, it had been louder. This was partly because I was really into it at that moment. On further reflection I had to concede to myself that my increased volume was more to do with the fact that I was in a hotel room.
An Unforgettable night of strap-on sexplorations
I had always wanted to try strap-on sex. This was due to the simple fact that I could determine the size, the texture and the design of the fake phallus that would be attached to it. For me, the most important thing about a real penis is not it’s size per se. It is my preference that it should be absolutely rigid when it matters most. I always imagined that a strap-on must be fantastic for this very reason because its perpetual stiffness was guaranteed. I was intrigued about using one with another woman, especially because I could both give and receive its pleasures. Fortunately, I have a female friend who shared my curiosity.
Why I Don’t Watch Porn
The main reason I do not watch porn comes down to personal taste. I would always choose erotica over porn. My preference is for a well-written script interpreted by talented actors as opposed to real sexual positions adopted by porn performers. I suppose that I want to put my own imagination to work. In mainstream porn, imagination is seldom required. The monotonous gynaecological close-ups do nothing for me, I have to say. I do not find them overly explicit as much as I consider them standardised and boring.
Sex on Sofas
“Goodbye” I whispered to my beloved sofa as I saw it being pushed out of my front door by three Italian students. For many, a sofa is just a piece of furniture that you relax on to watch television or have a nap on. But I have never had a single siesta on my sofa, even though I live in Spain. To be honest, I have not mastered the art of it. Nor have I watched television on my sofa because I don’t have one. For me, my sofa was a place to recline after a long day or, most importantly, it was my favorite place to have sex.
How Many Independent Women Do You Know?
When I read Bridget Jones’ Diary during my teenage years, I hoped that I wouldn’t end up like her. That is to say, a thirty-something, childless, single woman spending my Saturday nights wallowing in self pity and drinking wine at home on my own. It’s obvious, looking back, that Bridget didn’t own a decent vibrator.
Lesbian Porn for Straight Men
Lesbian porn isn’t the same as ‘porn for lesbians’ or ‘porn for bi women’. Lesbian porn is, without doubt, focused on the needs of the male spectator with its obsessive focus on close-up, gynaecological shots and surgically enhanced actresses with long, fake nails that look like claws. That detail in particular is a big no-no when it comes to sex between women. Another, typical feature is an overemphasis on the use of sex toys like dildos and harnesses. During my sapphic era, it would never have occurred to me to sit on a sofa and lick a dildo with another girl but that scenario is sadly typical in lesbian porn.
What Will the Sex Toys of the Future Be Like?
Have you ever wondered what the sex toys of the future will be like? I have. I looked into my crystal ball and this is what I saw. I’m not sure what year it is, but I see that I have a few grey hairs and wrinkles. It’s a sunny morning and I wake up in my future house in the country.
Are Naked Selfies Liberating?
Some people believe that a selfie is only an expression of narcissism, but for me it can be much more than that. We live in a society obsessed with physical perfection and a culture that seems to be addicted to cosmetic surgery and PhotoShop. On the one hand, we are bombarded by advertising imagery on TV and in magazines that lie to us constantly and promote beauty ideals that are unachievable. On the other hand, when a media celebrity is ‘caught’ on the beach displaying a little cellulite, or carrying few extra kilos, they are ridiculed.
The Price of Luxury Orgasms
The more money you spend on something, the higher your expectations become. This philosophy can also be applied to the world of luxury sex toys. Usually ‘luxury’, in this context, means that it is rechargeable by USB, is made of a non-porous material such as soft medical-grade silicone, has powerful, yet silent, motors and features organic shapes. That is to say, that the less it looks like a real penis, the better.
The Sticky World of Lubricants
The Sticky World of Lubricants: “Made with natural ingredients.” I read once in large letters on the packaging of lubricant from a brand that I won’t mention. After reading the list of ingredients, however, I discovered that apart from Aloe Vera extract, the remainder of the ingredients list consisted of substances with long and unpronounceable names. I doubted that they were natural.
Eros and Thanatos
Eros and Thanatos. I don’t want his pity. I want wild sex. All that matters is that I feel the blood running through my veins. I need to know that I am still very much alive despite the drab and depressing mood that I find myself in. I need to feel my heart beating, my breath accelerating and, above all, I have to feel the spasms of orgasm.
Are We More Unfaithful in Summer?
We work all year round dreaming about our holidays. For most of us it means a chance to escape the routine, stress and traffic jams. It’s a time to relax and enjoy spending quality time with our partners and the family. However, a new study by Victoria Milan, a contacts page for married people or couples, has found that summer holidays make us more open to the idea of having an affair.
What’s Wrong with Hairy Armpits?
“It’s not a glamorous look”, “you’ve totally lost your sex appeal” or “how disgusting!” These are just some of the comments I received after publishing photos of my hairy armpits on social media. Of course, there were others that were more positive.
I have to say that the negative comments didn’t surprise me in the slightest. The merest glimpse of a hairy armpit on a woman usually causes this reaction. It was something that I used to find unpleasant too.
Is it Possible to Resist Temptation?
Normally, being able to resist the temptation of one last drink, a cigar or a piece of chocolate makes you feel proud of yourself. This isn’t true, however, with sexual temptation. In this case, resisting a craving only generates the feeling of frustration. What normally happens is that the more you try to resist, the more desirable it is and the greater the temptation becomes.
Have You Got Any Condoms?
According to my experience, condoms are like cigarettes: every man has his favorite brand. His preference might depend on comfort, sensitivity, or simply because a particular brand has never let him down. When I was studying at University, condoms were given away for free. We could drop by the medical center and pick up as many as we wanted. In addition, there were several different types and brands to choose from. I only realized how fortunate the situation was when I came to Spain and had to pay for them myself. The truth is I didn’t know they were so expensive. As a solution, I made my boyfriends buy them.
Ode to the Domestic Gods
For me there’s nothing better than having an authentic domestic god in my house. He’s a man who is tidy, is a good cook and who, above all, finds pleasure from serving a woman. I don’t just want one for the sake of convenience, or to enjoy the benefits of a tidy environment without having to lift a finger or to taste delicious food that I haven’t had to prepare for myself. Just the idea of domestic godliness is something that never fails to seduce me.
Hollywood Sex Scenes I Would Like To Have Starred In
Hollywood sex scenes never last long enough for my tastes. There’s usually a slow emotional build up between the characters and then, when the big moment arrives, it concludes with a few brief clips accompanied by a cheesy saxophone break on the soundtrack. I have my own favourite sex scenes, of course. There are some that I like so much that I would’ve preferred to have starred in them myself. In my versions, however, I would’ve done a few things differently.
Protocol for the Unfaithful
For many, the simple fact of being unfaithful is unacceptable. For others, infidelity is inevitable in a long-term relationship. I think, however, that there are worse things about being unfaithful than the simple act itself. What hurts the most, is the lying and the humiliation.
Mad for MadRubb (Latex Fetish)
I love latex and not just as something to wear. I don’t just like it for its appearance but also for its aroma, the sounds it makes when you move in it and the subculture that surrounds it. When I’m at a fetish party and I have the opportunity to wear it in public, with other fetishists, I feel a unique excitement. It’s a sensation unmatched by any other, almost a latexstasy.
The Best Way to Dominate a Man
There is a tendency in mainstream pornography to represent fellatio as an act of female submission, when I think it’s rather the opposite: that is to say it’s often when a woman has the most control. For example, I know I can ask for anything I want when I’m in the middle of giving head. For this to be the case, we must really take control of the situation, and only do it when a really feel like it, not when he expects it. Even if this means doing it less frequently.
How many lovers have you had?
“More than Lady Di but less than Madonna”, Andie McDowell answered in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral when she was questioned, by Hugh Grant’s character, about how many lovers she’d had before him. In another film – American Pie – the ‘rule of three’ was mentioned as a response to the same query.This ‘rule’ dictates that, when asked about the numerical quantity of previous partners, men multiply the true number by three whereas women divide theirs by three.
8 Reasons to Masturbate
8 Reasons to Masturbate: I never really understood why the nuns at my high school always insisted that we went to sleep with our hands resting on top of the blankets. It made no sense, especially considering England’s cold climate. I knew even then, after the lights went out, that every pair of hands would inevitably creep back down under the bedclothes. It took me a few years more to understand why this practice wasn’t just discouraged but actually forbidden. I can’t deny that it amused me greatly when I uncovered the whole truth.
Ideas for an Unforgettable Valentine’s Day
I know very few couples who celebrate Valentines Day. In the world of erotic boutiques, however, Valentine’s Day can represent the potentially most profitable sales opportunity of the year. Of course, giving your partner a sex toy, erotic lingerie or other adult accessories to enhance sexual intercourse on one specific night or single weekend is all well and good, if it works. In my opinion, great sex shouldn’t depend on the date.
Why Do We Fake Orgasms?
Faked orgasms usually occur when the sexual act seems to be going on for far too long with no real end-point in sight. Many men try to prolong their performance until a woman has had her climax. This consideration is not due to a man’s sense of sexual chivalry. It’s more likely that seeing a woman spasming, because of his own efforts, turns a man on more strongly, increases his own pleasure and satisfies his ego as well.
Wake Up with One Guy, Go To Bed with Another
I prefer that a certain amount of time goes by between having one lover and the next. And, I’m not just talking about the time it takes to have a shower and to change the sheets – I mean a space of several days at least. When I was talking about this subject to a friend recently, he explained that just after he’s woken up with one women, he becomes anxious to sleep with another one that very day.
Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms
Today, the most common excuse for avoiding sex is: ‘I’m tired’.This simple phrase seems to be replacing the classic: ‘Sorry, I’ve got a headache’. Given that the amount of sleeping disorders has increased with our hectic lives, it’s really no wonder that more and more couples have chosen to sleep in separate bedrooms during the working week. Oddly enough, many of them claim that this unusual arrangement not only gives them a far better quality of sleep but that doing so has improved their sex life as well.
Six Degrees of Infidelity
January is the most adulterous month of the year’ so says Victoria Milan, a contact page that caters for married individuals or couples looking to enjoy a discreet affair. I wonder if the intention of being unfaithful is the same as being unfaithful. What is infidelity and what are the limits?
Long Distance Lovers
The most frustrating part of travelling is the arrival. Just when you think that you’ve reached the end of the journey, you still have to hang on a little bit longer. If you’re on a train, it slows down to a crawl as it approaches the station. If, on the other hand, you’re on a plane that’s just touched down, you still have to sit and wait until everyone else has taken their luggage down. You’re there, where you want to be but you’re still kept a short distance away from complete fulfilment. Holding on seems to take an eternity, especially if you have a long distance lover waiting for you..
Should There Be Equality In Oral Sex?
When it comes to oral sex, If there isn’t equality of giving and receiving, it can become a real issue with some couples. But, please don’t assume that reciprocity should be mandatory where this subject is concerned. Deciding who gives oral sex on a given night shouldn’t be like buying rounds of drinks in a bar; your turn, my turn, your turn and so on.
The Warmth of Winter Sex
I love to wake up warm in bed when I know, for a fact, that it’s cold outside. Hearing the wind and the rain hitting hard against my window panes only encourages me to stay under the covers; perhaps for the whole day. That decision becomes even easier if I’m accompanied. For me, winter is the hottest season and not just when I’m in bed.
The Dangers of Cybersex
When it comes to sex in the real world, there are always condoms. But, how can we protect ourselves during a cybersex session? It’s quite true that cybersex doesn’t expose you to the risk of sexually transmitted infections, but there are specific dangers inherent. The most obvious one is that our ‘private’ chat is nothing of the kind.
The Complicated World of Married Lovers
Having a lover who’s married can be a complicated situation for several reasons. It’s never easy to meet up with them, especially spontaneously, and the time that you actually get to spend with them is always going to be limited. Just getting into contact with them can present difficulties; you just never know if they’re alone, with their official partners or busy with their families. An ongoing affair requires care and discretion at all times.
When Office Flirting Becomes Something More…
Flirting in the office is usually just an innocent game that helps to pass the time and brightens up the day. It also acts as a wonderful distraction from the tedious tasks of daily employment. Sometimes, you don’t even need to be partiularly attracted to the person you are flirting with either. When you spend all of your working day confined in the same space, hour after hour, with the very same people, your tastes may change without you even being aware of it.
The Wonders of Intimate Waxing
Like a lot of ‘pro-hair’ people, I always thought that total hair removal would be an attempt to look like a girl when I was a grown woman. That was what I thought right up until I tried it for myself. I hadn’t planned to ‘go smooth’ when I went for my usual bikini-line wax. It was a Friday and I arrived at my regular salon imagining that the same girl would be doing me as usual. It turned out to be a different one this time, however.
Sex, Lies and WhatsApp
According to a recent study by the University of Indiana, 48 percent of erotic messages, whether they are sent by WhatsApp or SMS, are lies. For example, you can say that: ‘I’m wearing lingerie’, when you’re really wearing a tracksuit. You can claim that: “I’m touching myself,” when you’re actually peeling potatoes. There are even faked orgasms in sexting! The usual reasons for lying are
Men Also Fake Orgasms
Fake orgasms is usually a topic that concerns women who do it to encourage their male partners. However, there are many men also fake orgasms. The worst case of a faked male orgasm that I’ve come across was one that was told to me by a co-worker. He and his wife were trying for a baby and he explained that one day he was so exhausted with the constant routine
Is it Possible to Overcome Sexual Incompatibility?
There may be passing phases of sexual incompatibility in every relationship. They can be due to a variety of things: impotence, premature ejaculation, incompatible levels of libido or conflicting sexual tastes. Some couples attempt to find a solution to their problems through sex therapy. Sometimes they spend an awful lot of money doing so. But I wonder whether it’s possible to rediscover the spark if it never truly existed in the first place.
Does Size Matter?
It’s a very big question; possibly the biggest. The moment when you undress a new lover can be a moment of enormous joy or sudden disappointment. I remember an experience I had years ago with a male roommate that I really liked. He explained, probably a thousand times during our stay in the shared apartment, that he had a tiny member. That little piece of information never undermined my physical attraction towards him.
An Ode to Premature Ejaculation
I’ve never really understood that there is a ‘problem’ associated with premature ejaculation even though I understand that the possibility of it happening has become an obsession for many men. For me personally, quick sex sessions are the most authentic, entertaining and certainly the wildest ones. In my opinion, the best things in life tend to happen quickly and this is especially true when applied to the bedroom.
Classification of Orgasms
There’s nothing quite like having an orgasm. Just think of the amazing tension you experience just a moment before it’s released by sudden spasms and groans. Then there’s the exquisite sense of total relaxation that follows. I must admit that I used to think that women were either vaginal or clitoral as far as their orgasms were concerned. But I think our climax is not limited to two categories, there are many more.
The Day I Masturbated for Science
“If you ever get a chance to test my orgasm under laboratory conditions, let me know” I told the scientist Pere Estupinyà when I first met him. I had just watched a TV documentary about sex in which a research team had observed and documented the physiological changes that occured to a couple when they had sexual intercourse. It fed my curiosity about my own responses during climax.