In this era of 24/7 social networking, anyone can call themselves a writer because their words can be published online whenever they feel like it. I’ve always had plenty to say and my free website was the first ongoing outlet for my views and opinions. At the start, writing my posts was something fun I did on a Sunday afternoon; it was a hobby. Within three months though, I had an offer to co-author a book with Erika Lust and, suddenly, my hobby had to be taken a lot more seriously. The masochist in me enjoyed the unhelpful conditions I suffered to complete the project. For example, I always sat in the same old vintage leather chair-featured in many of my photo-sets-to get the work done. I wore old jogging bottoms, an ancient hoodie and, as it was during the winter months, I was usually wrapped up in a blanket that my grandma had sent to me; it had kept generations of O’Haras warm and I was very glad to have it. The door to my balcony was broken and no matter how much furniture I piled up against it, I still heard the rattle as it let in another bitter draft of cold air. My fingers were frozen and I could see my breath as I typed, busily, on the keyboard of my tired, unreliable laptop. I’ve got a new one now, thank God. I knew, even then, that I would look back at the hardship of the writing […]
In BDSM a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or the dominant.They assume their subordinate role in private and enjoy the fantasy of having no personal authority and being controlled and dominated with their agreement and collusion.
Submission needs the personal ego of the sub is set aside so that their primary concern is always praising, worshipping and servicing the individual that represents their superior in every way. The main purpose of the sub is to do precisely what he or she is told to do by a dominant, whether it’s online or in person.
There could be tasks to be performed by the submissive outside of the controlled and controlling environment of their BDSM relationship that enhance the connection.The dominant can give the submissive permission to break his or her daily routines by acting in counter-intuitive ways in front of friends, family and work colleagues. The dominant must be kept in mind at all times if this happens.
Subs dream of a reward for their successful service but they usually find that a harsh penalty for their failure to impress can be equally significant and just as pleasurable for them.
Types of Submission – Venus O’Hara
In BDSM a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or the dominant. Many submissives are high-flying professional males seeking escape from their almost overwhelming responsibilities and their power to determine the fates of their employees in public. They do this by assuming their subordinate role in private and by enjoying the fantasy of having no personal authority; by being controlled and dominated themselves. In reality, submissives tend to be people with profound intellectual and emotional depth whose sensitivities are beyond the ability of modern media or popular culture to accommodate or value. They find satisfaction by submitting themselves to someone else whose intelligence and honesty they trust above all others; someone they believe to be worthy of their worship. For some, submission means being able to recognise the greatness of a dominant by kneeling before them. In the case of male subsmissives, the act of worshipping a strong woman is contrary to religious tradition, education and nature. In the case of a female submissive, her enjoyment in complying to the whims of a dominant male seems to contradict the hard-won achievements of feminism. In reality, however, neither individual is betraying their respective genders but are, instead, choosing to dismantle their own social programming in private to define their own identity and power more fully. There are three defining principles to the submissives vital connection to his or her dominant: […]
Love Me Like You Hate Me – Teaser
I recently made my acting debut in the acclaimed short film “Love Me Like You Hate Me”, written and directed by Erika Lust, (Lust Films 2010). It is an arousing exploration of the seductive thrills of domination and the fear and excitement of submission in which I play seven characters. Now, the film has been re-edited, re-scored and re-imagined to further emphasise its unusual ability to disturb and excite with its lurid and fetishistic imagery of domestic servitude, confinement and spanking, gloves fetish, glasses fetish, wet clothes fetish and much more. In its new form it has become an unusually kinetic and intense type of BDSM thriller which restores footage-previously regarded as too intense-of me bound hand and foot and constrained by a ball-gag, to its list of astounding highlights. I’m still shocked at how effective the following teaser is and I can hardly wait to see the more provocative cut of the film when it debuts soon. Photo above by Kristyan Geyr Images TEASER LOVE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME Cargado por lustfilms. – Mira más videos de TV y películas.
Behind Bars – Cage Fetish
When an exotic creature is kept imprisoned behind bars it is the interested spectators inability to look away from it that determines the length of its confinement. There is dreadful pleasure in seeing a beautiful beast trapped in a cage; some imported animals are powerful and dangerous and we need to be protected from their unusual powers as we become voyeurs.When it’s a fetish model gripping those bars and looking back at us our pulses quicken with a presence that is awe-inspiring and sublime.The goddess in a cage reminds us of that part of ourselves that we are urged to keep under lock and key except when it’s safe not to. I had no real intention of shooting an impromptu set of images on that day until I saw the metal bars in the grounds of my friends home. I pictured myself as a prisoner of sensual conscience kept isolated from the vanilla public for their own protection but inspiring awe and devotion in growing rows of visitors to my fetish cell. If you look closely, between the bars, you’ll find me staring back. So, look away; I dare you. Photos taken by Lars Koudal. Lars has also been helping me with my web and he’s been fantastic. Enjoy the set! Venus O’Hara
No Pain, No Gain (BDSM)
Pain has always been a part of accepted behaviour in conventional sexual relationships. The loss of control that defines the act itself anticipates scratching and hair pulling; love bites are a more obvious reminder of recent pleasures.These “in the moment” expressions of passion are intuitive and spontaneous. The application of pain when associated with BDSM is different, it is methodical and organised for a specific purpose; it refines the production of pleasure by the exploitation of its polar opposite. There are many intelligent applications of pain in the world of BDSM, enough to sharpen appetites that are subtle or broad. Spanking is an arousing interplay of punishment and sensuality, randomness and design.Whipping is a more direct approach to the use of formal chastisement without sweetness to balance it. Temperature play tests our reactions to heat and cold to enhance sensation to a much greater degree. Even rope burns from shibari bondage can have an appeal all of their own.The list goes on and on. To read a lot more about the uses and value of pain in the search for greater pleasures and to enjoy more images from this set, please refer to LOVE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME, my forthcoming book about BDSM written with Erika Lust and due for publication in Autumn 2010. Photos by David Vega. Enjoy! Venus O’Hara