Submission

In BDSM a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or the dominant.They assume their subordinate role in private and enjoy the fantasy of having no personal authority and being controlled and dominated with their agreement and collusion.

Submission needs the personal ego of the sub is set aside so that their primary concern is always praising, worshipping and servicing the individual that represents their superior in every way. The main purpose of the sub is to do precisely what he or she is told to do by a dominant, whether it’s online or in person.

There could be tasks to be performed by the submissive outside of the controlled and controlling environment of their BDSM relationship that enhance the connection.The dominant can give the submissive permission to break his or her daily routines by acting in counter-intuitive ways in front of friends, family and work colleagues. The dominant must be kept in mind at all times if this happens.

Subs dream of a reward for their successful service but they usually find that a harsh penalty for their failure to impress can be equally significant and just as pleasurable for them.

Black Lace Blindfold

Many fetishists think that lace blindfolds are a bit pointless. After all, a blindfold should restrict vision and deprive the wearer of vital sensory information – not allow them to see their master/mistress whenever they choose. As far as I’m concerned there’s only one drawback with black lace blindfolds and that’s the number of people who just can’t see their obvious fetish potential.When I wore the black lace blindfold – that you see in these images – I felt dominant in front of the photographer, not submissive as I might have anticipated. When I wear sunglasses I can see perfectly but the person I’m talking to can feel uncomfortable and anxious because the eye-contact between us has been disrupted – wilfully, – by my choice of eyewear. My feelings, responses and thoughts – usually so easy to read in my huge, expressive, eyes can no longer be interpreted or relied upon. Lace blindfolds serve the same function in BDSM roleplay. This accessory is unique in the grey area it occupies between submissive blindfolds and dominant masks. If you want to be submissive in a lace blindfold, all you need to do is close your eyes and adopt that persona. If you want to be dominant, just keep your eyes open and use the confusing filter of the black lace to intimidate your slave further by staring at them through it. They won’t know how to respond, trust me. During the shoot I wasn’t able to express myself with my eyes […]

Exploring Hood Fetish

A hood can be worn and exploited by both dominants and submissives. I’d wanted to explore the idea of a hood fetish photo-set that played with the idea of power and anonymity for a while. When I opened the box that this little scrap of stretchy black lace was packed in, I didn’t realise at first how much BDSM potential it had – I was excited at how provocative and mysterious I’d look just by putting it on. A fitted hood with openings just for the mouth and eyes – when worn by dominating women – exaggerates their fetish identity. Although it hides characteristics like hair, chin-line and ears under its surface, a hood still defines the shape of the head and allows the exposed features to have overwhelming importance. I only increased this effect on myself by emphasising my green eyes with a similar shade of make-up and by plumping and exaggerating my pout with glistening red lipstick. The power of the hood fetish isn’t just for dominant’s though and it’s possible to adapt that BDSM persona into a submissive one just by changing your expression a little bit. Fetish hoods like this are perfect for switches who are clever enough to keep their role-play partners guessing. This was my first fetish hood set and the sensations I felt were intense. It was a real challenge to pose without being able to show off my long red hair and use it as a fetish prop. With my secret – […]

Suspension

Suspension bondage appeals to fetishists because it makes the person being suspended seem more vulnerable if they are unable and unwilling to escape their restraints. By trying to free themselves they could fall to the floor and injure themselves so their anxiety is magnified. Being suspended in a large open space also turns a helpless, submissive subject into an object whose complete powerlessness can be as erotically satisfying for themselves as much as for any spectators watching. Rope suspension can be a form of performance art at BDSM conventions and fetish-themed nightclubs. I was fascinated by the suspension shows I saw at some of those clubs. I prefer pain-free suspension rather than the kind that uses hook and chains.It was on Bogatell beach in Barcelona where I saw a rope climbing frame and thought I’d try suspension for myself Even though high-heels aren’t recommended to wear on rope climbing frames they were perfect with my matching black boy-shorts, transparent long-sleeved top and hold-up stockings which emphasised my pure-white, naked thighs for all those appreciative fetishists out there. It was a real challenge hanging up there with my fiery red hair hanging down and blowing in the warm breeze. I had to rely upon my strength alone to support my body but I was more than up for the challenge I had set for myself. I knew that some spectators were taking photos of me hanging there but – just to show my playful awareness of them – I posed at […]

Slave Duties for Rebellious Subs

Cleaning can be the most valuable of slave duties that can be given out as a punishment. It can be repetitive and demeaning but it always gets something done that a dominatrix would never choose to do herself. The pleasure in watching someone else scrub, polish and tidy is increased by making them wear suitable clothing. This set was intended to illustrate the “Masters and Slaves” section of my book Love Me Like You Hate Me, so I I made a special point of wearing a collar that reminded me of my slave status in the scenario. It also played against my wild, red hair and glossy, lipsticked pout. I was aware of how fetishistic the heavy, rubber gloves made even my most ordinary movements seem. It was easy to play against the slave image and the the photographer noticed too. I was reminded of his lowly position when he took the photos as I was standing in a bathtub, above him and I felt anything but submissive in his presence. It became total role-play and I indulged myself in the moment at his expense. I’m a cleaning fetishist through and through and I adored this session despite, or because of, my naturally messy nature. [nggallery id=6] Photos by Guy Moberly.

Venus in Furs – My Favourite Book

Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch is my favourite book. An influential lover gave it to me as an instruction manual, to educate me, years ago when I was a student. The word masochism derives not just from the author of the book but from the nature of the story itself. Masochism has come to mean the tendency to derive pleasure from one’s own pain and humiliation. Venus in Furs tells the story of Severin, a man who is so infatuated with a young widow, Wanda von Dunajew, that he requests to be her slave. For Severin, Wanda is Venus-a redhead with green eyes and porcelain white skin. Naturally I identified with her. The following is an extract from the text: “She is there-Venus-but without furs-No, this time it is merely the widow-and yet-Venus-oh, what a woman!” “As she stands there in her light white morning gown, looking at me, her slight figure seems full of poetry and grace. She is neither large, nor small; her head is alluring, piquant-in the sense of the period of the French marquises-rather than formally beautiful. What enchantment and softness, what roguish charm plays about her none too small mouth! Her skin is so infinitely delicate, that the blue veins show through everywhere; even through the muslin covering her arms and bosom. How abundant her red hair-it is red, not blonde or golden-yellow-how diabolically and yet tenderly it plays around her neck! Now her eyes meet mine like green lightnings-they are green, these […]

My First Book: Love Me Like You Hate Me – Venus O’Hara

In this era of 24/7 social networking, anyone can call themselves a writer because their words can be published online whenever they feel like it. I’ve always had plenty to say and my free website was the first ongoing outlet for my views and opinions. At the start, writing my posts was something fun I did on a Sunday afternoon; it was a hobby. Within three months though, I had an offer to co-author a book with Erika Lust and, suddenly, my hobby had to be taken a lot more seriously. The masochist in me enjoyed the unhelpful conditions I suffered to complete the project. For example, I always sat in the same old vintage leather chair-featured in many of my photo-sets-to get the work done. I wore old jogging bottoms, an ancient hoodie and, as it was during the winter months, I was usually wrapped up in a blanket that my grandma had sent to me; it had kept generations of O’Haras warm and I was very glad to have it. The door to my balcony was broken and no matter how much furniture I piled up against it, I still heard the rattle as it let in another bitter draft of cold air. My fingers were frozen and I could see my breath as I typed, busily, on the keyboard of my tired, unreliable laptop. I’ve got a new one now, thank God. I knew, even then, that I would look back at the hardship of the writing […]

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