Domination

In BDSM, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or scene who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive partner.

Domination means being able to extract excitement from the pleasure you give to a submissive by every word you speak and every gesture you make no matter how trivial. That enjoyment only increases if a submissive offers unqualified and quantifiable acts of worship whenever ordered to do so.

There are three variables at work in a dominant’s connection to their submissive and the formers fetishistic pleasure relies upon each of them being fulfilled to the letter:

Firstly, for dominants continual, high-quality, worship from a submissive represents a depth of adoration from another individual that simply cannot be found anywhere else.

Secondly, in setting tasks and organising duties for an eager submissive outside of the controlling environment of their BDSM relationship, the dominant understands that the submissive derives nothing but pure fetishistic pleasure themselves from the distance application of their adoration.

Lastly, dominants have the final word when it comes to giving rewards to obedient submissives or administering punishments to rebellious ones and this system has a fetishistic significance all of its own.

Strap-on Sex

I could never truly appreciate how much physical effort a man puts in to having sex until I had experienced strap-on sex. I wonder if this is the reason why few women are really committed to having strap-on sex. There is another explanation for this. A woman who has to wear a harness, just so that she can use a dildo on another woman, might not enjoy playing such a traditionally masculine role in bed. I have to admit that I prefer to be on the receiving end in strap-on sex. This is especially true when I imagine a female lover who can offer me a penis that is permanently hard as well as a pair of breasts simultaneously. That is the fantasy scenario that attracts me. The reality of strap-on sex can be a little different. It is still a challenge to find a good quality harness matched up to a suitable dildo. Harnesses can be difficult to put on and to wear for any length of time without rubbing against the skin. I also find that unsecured dildos slide around too much and are far too large for any sustained use. From a practical point of view, the shaft is also positioned a lot higher than it would be with a real man. Anyway, if I have to walk around a room with a long length of stiff silicon bouncing up and down between my legs I can not be blamed if I start laughing about it. If […]

Cyberslave: My New Short Film

Cyberslave is a short film that tells the story of a struggling dominatrix and her relationship with Slave X. It explores the dynamics of a D/s relationship, Financial Domination, virtual relationships, during the current economic crisis.. …. But who is the slave? This is the first time I have taken to scriptwriting, I hope you enjoy it! I have always questioned the power dynamics in a D/s relationship when there is money involved. I’ve always believed that the person who pays is the one in charge. Especially if the money is used for everyday living costs, and therefore the dominatrix relies on her slaves’ contributions to live. This calls into question who really has the power. In Cyberslave I wanted to explore the how a financial domme tries to maintain control of her slave and herself, despite her total lack of control over her own situation. Written by and Starring Venus O’Hara Directed by Antón González and Vicente González Make-up and Art Direction: Mariam Elazzouzi Produced by La Isla

The Power of Orgasm Denial

Orgasm denial is the best way to deal with rebellious slaves. If a dominant is clever then there are wonderful ways to make someone suffer without physical pain ever being needed. O.D. is still the most satisfying option available to me. I went to Ikea one afternoon to have a look around and investigate the latest range of headboards. I never know when I’m going to need a really strong one so its best to do some research. I walked around the bedding area and felt a little bored to tell the truth. The typical crowds you find in that place were beginning to irritate me with their docile browsing. On a whim, I decided that it was time to end my slave’s period of Orgasm Denial in spectacular fashion right then and there. He had been placed on it for six days and was really starting to suffer. It was great. I sent him an SMS with the codeword “Now”. He understood the rules perfectly. No matter where he was, no matter what he was doing, he had to masturbate immediately. I stood aside from the crowd and, almost at once, he called me back. I heard his belt buckle hit the floor closely followed by his trousers and underwear. He carried lube around with him just in case. I heard the slaps and squelches as he got to work on himself. As I smiled to the husbands and wives as they shuffled past me I listened to the […]

A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

Introducing a little BDSM into your relationship can be a really great way to intensify things, learn your limits and become closer to your partner, but it can also be really intimidating–especially if you’ve never dabbled in it before. Perhaps you’ve been kicking around this site for awhile or you just stumbled here after wondering what BDSM was really like, either way, you’re not alone if you’re worried. Beginning a BDSM adventure can be exciting, but it’s going to take communication, honesty, and an open mind. Use this as your beginners guide and then continue to physically and intellectually explore your options. Communication Communication is key to having a successful and pleasurable BDSM relationship. You can’t dive in without discussing the semantics, rules, limits, and safe words. Make sure your partner has a full understanding of what BDSM will entail, what the different roles (dom/sub) mean and who will be who. It won’t work if you both want to be the sub or vice versa. You will also need to discuss what your limits will be. Are you okay with anal play? Paddling? What level of pain or loss of control are you willing to go to? You want to make sure you are both on the same page. It’s fun to push limits, but you don’t want to push them so far that it becomes scary or someone gets hurt. The best way to ensure no one gets hurt is to set up a safe word that you can […]

My Slave’s Make-up Fetish

My slave likes to watch me on Skype as I go through the ritual of applying my make-up. It is a strange and exciting sensation to have someone analysing every little thing I do to decorate my face. His attention does not just focus my technique, however. Having his adoring eyes on me is the kind of pressure that really turns me on. It turns him on as well. His frequent suggestions and compliments prove it to me over and over again. My slave goes quiet when I’m defining my eyes with black liner. It is the cool precision involved in getting it just right that obsesses him. He is waiting for a mistake to be made. That is what he wants from me.  It is like watching an artist who has to pause in their work to fix a flaw. Perfection is fine but random chance is better. Watching me make a correction, and getting impatient while I am doing it, always makes him sigh. When I outline my lips he breathes more heavily. I can hear his arousal from the speaker in my laptop. Sometimes I tease him with the creation of my Cupid’s bow. I delay it as much as I can. He can hardly stand the tension. I notice the anxiety creeping into his whispered words of praise. Then, it is time to finish and I press my lips together before blowing him a little kiss. I ask him how I look. He sags into his chair […]

50 shades of Venus

In case you hadn’t realised, Planet Venus is back. It may seem perverse for me to be away from my regular writing responsibilities at this time. BDSM has suddenly become the literary flavour of the year with the publishing phenomenon of “50 Shades of Grey” taking the mainstream reading habits of the world by storm. In this eroticized and aroused moment in time you might think that I’ve been neglecting my proper duties and the philosophy behind my all important web. Although my loyal slaves have been working around the clock, they can only achieve so much on their own before I have to take the initiative again and do the things for Planet Venus that only I am qualified to do. Nevertheless, I see the distinctive cover of “50 Shades of Grey” and its sequels appearing in increasing numbers on the metro, in cafes and being read on benches in municipal parks. Everyone has either read it, is reading it or feels that they need to have an opinion about it. In my mind this can only be a good thing. It is still only fiction however. What happens when all of those readers feel the need to experiment with BDSM in their real lives? If you really want to discover how fulfilling and exciting BDSM can be but you are reluctant to do so because of any pre-conceptions you might still have then let me reassure you. BDSM can be so much fun that it’s almost a scandal […]

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