In BDSM, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or scene who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive partner.
Domination means being able to extract excitement from the pleasure you give to a submissive by every word you speak and every gesture you make no matter how trivial. That enjoyment only increases if a submissive offers unqualified and quantifiable acts of worship whenever ordered to do so.
There are three variables at work in a dominant’s connection to their submissive and the formers fetishistic pleasure relies upon each of them being fulfilled to the letter:
Firstly, for dominants continual, high-quality, worship from a submissive represents a depth of adoration from another individual that simply cannot be found anywhere else.
Secondly, in setting tasks and organising duties for an eager submissive outside of the controlling environment of their BDSM relationship, the dominant understands that the submissive derives nothing but pure fetishistic pleasure themselves from the distance application of their adoration.
Lastly, dominants have the final word when it comes to giving rewards to obedient submissives or administering punishments to rebellious ones and this system has a fetishistic significance all of its own.
Vegan Leather Fetish – Enter the MAZE by Bijoux indiscrets
The MAZE Collection – Vegan Leather
As soon as I saw the appropriately titled, MAZE collection from Bijoux Indiscrets, I knew that I needed to find my own path into it. I did not care about forgetting the way I went in, taking a wrong turn or, indeed, solving the puzzle. I just felt the need to get lost in a confounding, and thrilling, realm of fetish fantasy.
Unboxing The New Erotic Accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets
When I saw the hip chains from the new collection by Bijoux Indiscrets, I knew that they would be ideal for this type of erotic game. There is also something very alluring about being naked except for a chain (or two). Feeling something cold and metallic draped against your skin that moves against you with each step you take is incredibly arousing. It’s like ‘I’m dressed but naked’. The hip chains highlight the curve and form of your figure even more than being naked does.
The Dangers of Cybersex
When it comes to sex in the real world, there are always condoms. But, how can we protect ourselves during a cybersex session? It’s quite true that cybersex doesn’t expose you to the risk of sexually transmitted infections, but there are specific dangers inherent. The most obvious one is that our ‘private’ chat is nothing of the kind.
Ode to the Original Mr Grey
Ode to the Original Mr Grey I’ve always believed that the success of the Fifty Shades of Grey books can be attributed to the character of Christian Grey. For me the the appeal of the trilogy is less about the BDSM and more about the rehearsal of an established female fantasy: a fabulously wealthy, enigmatic older man finding redemption from his past misdemeanours by falling in love with a much younger, poorer and virginal girl. In other words, Fifty Shades of Grey is like a Mills & Boon romance novel with butt-plugs and bondage tape. Anastasia Steel is the lucky girl that women across the world love to identify with. We all desire attention and the arousing prospect of a ripped billionaire choosing us above all others to lavish his attentions and perversions upon was guaranteed to get us wet. Even though he seemed like a stalker sometimes. My personal investment in the allure of Mr Grey fell sharply when Jamie Dornan was cast to play him in the film adaptation of the first book in the trilogy. Although Mr Dornan is a talented actor, serious eye-candy and seems shy in interviews there is a problem. The lack of sexual chemistry between himself and Dakota Johnson, playing Anastasia, killed the fantasy on film for me. Christian will never be my idolised Mr Grey. There is another Mr Grey who makes my pulse race. I’m referring to E. Edward Grey, the protagonist, from the film Secretary as played by the wonderful […]
CFNM vs CMNF (Femdom)
When I came across the acronym CFNM on Twitter recently associated with Femdom (Female Domination), I was instantly curious to find out what it meant. I was surprised to learn that in actual fact, the philosophy behind CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) was not news to me at all. As it turns out, I have been practising my own variant of it for years but I have to acknowledge that when I am faced with a choice between CFNM, and its flip side CMNF (Clothed Male Naked Female) I will invariably choose the latter option. One of my favourite things about the nature of fetishism is that almost any kink has a name. To determine one fetish from another, however, the correct designation becomes necessary. My understanding of CFNM “Clothed Female/Naked Male” is based on my interest and practice of FemDom or Female Domination. The fetishistic value of a CFNM scenario lies in the asymmetrical power relationship of its participants to the way in which they are dressed. A fully dressed woman, or group of women, can be placed in direct fetishistic contrast to a naked man, or group of men. Nakedness often compels vulnerability, reticence and shame when the other member, or members of a scene are dressed and have the dominant role. A CFNM scenario can explore sexual or non-sexual practices, male submission fantasies and/or elements of male display, performance or exhibitionism. Female domination becomes a natural extension of these forms of gender identity roleplaying. In contrast, CMNF […]
Fifty Shades of Grey: You’ve read the book, seen the trailer, now what?
Fifty Shades of Grey is trending again and it feels as though it never went away. The truth is, it’s always there now, in the back of our aroused minds. It is, in no small part, the responsibility of its author, E.L. James that 2012 will be remembered as a watershed for erotic literature and the portrayal of BDSM as a viable and peculiarly effective ingredient of modern sexuality. Now, we have seen the first trailer to the forthcoming Fifty Shades of Grey film. Everyone seems to be watching it, talking about it or avoiding it in case it does not live up to their private visualisation of the two main characters involved. Nevertheless, everyone will have to wait until Valentine’s Day 2015 to see it… If the length of the wait seems like a special type of torture then do not get overly concerned. Fifty Shades of Grey is all about BDSM. The punishing delay until fans of the books can see the film seems quite appropriate when you look at it from that perspective. If you need to keep yourself and your own personal Mr Grey distracted and entertained while you are both waiting patiently, then I can think of no better way than to take full advantage of the official Fifty Shades of Grey sex toy collection. The amazing variety of products it comprises will guarantee that neither of you will ever get bored. The collection includes toys such as vibrators, ben wah balls, G spot vibrator, […]