I could never truly appreciate how much physical effort a man puts in to having sex until I had experienced strap-on sex. I wonder if this is the reason why few women are really committed to having strap-on sex. There is another explanation for this. A woman who has to wear a harness, just so that she can use a dildo on another woman, might not enjoy playing such a traditionally masculine role in bed. I have to admit that I prefer to be on the receiving end in strap-on sex. This is especially true when I imagine a female lover who can offer me a penis that is permanently hard as well as a pair of breasts simultaneously. That is the fantasy scenario that attracts me. The reality of strap-on sex can be a little different. It is still a challenge to find a good quality harness matched up to a suitable dildo. Harnesses can be difficult to put on and to wear for any length of time without rubbing against the skin. I also find that unsecured dildos slide around too much and are far too large for any sustained use. From a practical point of view, the shaft is also positioned a lot higher than it would be with a real man. Anyway, if I have to walk around a room with a long length of stiff silicon bouncing up and down between my legs I can not be blamed if I start laughing about it. If […]
Corsets are a key component in sexual fetishism, most obviously in BDSM activities. In a BDSM scene or relationship, a submissive can wear a corset which could be laced very tightly and give an adjustable degree of restriction to the wearer.
A dominant can also wear a corset-often black-but for a completely different reason, such as aesthetics. The garment, when worn correctly and fitted precisely is almost guaranteed to promote a commanding appearance. It becomes a type of armour and the tightness of its styling and the material of its construction adds an inflexible quality to the authority and presence of the dominant.
A very common fetish costume for women is the dominatrix one. She would usually wear a corset or bustier with stockings and high-heeled footwear of some sort. High boots are quite common as they enhance the woman’s stature and capacity to dominate while the corset flaunts her decision to sculpt and control her own shape. A specially designed corset, in which the breasts and vulva are exposed can be worn during vanilla sex or in other BDSM activities.
Cyberslave: My New Short Film
Cyberslave is a short film that tells the story of a struggling dominatrix and her relationship with Slave X. It explores the dynamics of a D/s relationship, Financial Domination, virtual relationships, during the current economic crisis.. …. But who is the slave? This is the first time I have taken to scriptwriting, I hope you enjoy it! I have always questioned the power dynamics in a D/s relationship when there is money involved. I’ve always believed that the person who pays is the one in charge. Especially if the money is used for everyday living costs, and therefore the dominatrix relies on her slaves’ contributions to live. This calls into question who really has the power. In Cyberslave I wanted to explore the how a financial domme tries to maintain control of her slave and herself, despite her total lack of control over her own situation. Written by and Starring Venus O’Hara Directed by Antón González and Vicente González Make-up and Art Direction: Mariam Elazzouzi Produced by La Isla
The Pain of Retro Lingerie
When I think about wearing retro lingerie, I always remember the pain it gives you just to get the right look. Dressing for a retro lingerie shoot takes up more time than any other. This is especially true if there’s a corset involved. I have to remind myself to attach my favourite six-strap suspender belt to my stockings before the corset is laced up because it’s almost impossible to do it afterwards. I always have a few problems with fitting my own corset no matter how experienced I get with the lacing. At first I didn’t like having to rely on photographers to help me. Then I discovered how much control I had over them when I felt their hands trembling as they laced me up. If I closed my eyes it felt like they were tying me up slowly in a complicated bondage game. A tight corset always changes the way you walk and move. It doesn’t just correct a bad posture or prevent you from slouching if you sit down. It also encourages you to plan your movements carefully and impose yourself more in a shoot. At that point, you start to feel so confident in your image that you don’t want to go back and wear ordinary clothes again. That’s how I felt when I chose my retro lingerie for this shoot. I combined retro-seamed stockings and a bullet bra from What Katy Did, my Van Doren six-strap suspender belt from Kiss Me Deadly and my favourite […]
Confessions of a Sex Writer
Since becoming a sex writer I can confess that writing about sex can be just as good as the real thing. Sometimes, it can be even better. I’m often asked whether my articles are 100% true. I’ve never written fiction so, let me reassure you that everything I write is based on reality. For me, reality is always more interesting than made-up stories. I feel sorry for those people who cannot or will not believe that. When I’m about to start my next column or article I make sure that I keep the title of it in my head for a day before I start to write. Those are with me wherever I go and whatever I do-even at the supermarket. A sex writer, like everyone else – needs to buy groceries and even when I am trying to decide which cheese to buy – Mozzarella or Havarti usually – the title is there in my mind until I sit down and start work. It does not take very long before I search the Venus archives for suitably horny experiences that I have lived through or that my friends have confided in me about. It all helps. Sometimes when I’m writing, I get really turned on by the subject matter. This could include reminiscences and fantasies of my own as well. I get so turned on sometimes that I have to take a break. I check that the battery power is enough in my vibrator before I have my 15 […]
In BDSM, a top or dominant is the partner in a BDSM relationship or in a BDSM scene who takes the active or controlling role over that of the bottom or submissive partner. Domination means being able to extract excitement from the pleasure you give to a submissive by every word you speak and every gesture you make no matter how trivial. That enjoyment only increases if a submissive offers unqualified acts of worship. A male dominant may make up for a lack of control in his professional life by expressing his desire for it in the bedroom whereas a female dominant can be regarded, undeservedly, as being counter-intuitive and unnatural in her desires. Most dominants, however, find that a single whiplash is worth more than a thousand wasted words of justification. There are three variables at work in a dominant’s connection to their submissive: Firstly, dominants require a degree of dedication and attention that applies whether they are male or female. For them, the act of worship from a submissive represents a depth of adoration from an individual that simply cannot be found anywhere else. Secondly, in setting tasks and duties to an eager submissive outside of the controlling environment of their BDSM relationship, the dominant understands that the submissive derives nothing but pure joy from the distance application of their adoration. When the submissive is busily proving his or her dedication to the material needs of their dominant even when the dominant is asleep or busy then the […]
I forget how effective my rebellious red curls are as a shield for my neck; it feels so covered up when I wear it down. That all changes when I wear my hair up, then my neck feels naked, exposed and available to endless sets of hungry eyes. Its exposure makes me instantly aware of minor shifts in room temperature, sharp drafts from open windows and odd alterations of atmosphere. That edgy awareness extends to the instant effect its display seems to have on some individuals. Necks are like small bodies in their own right with unique curves, softnesses and scents. For some neck fetishists the nape is as important as a perfect pair of long legs. It is without a doubt an essential erogenous zone that responds so well to exploration by hands, mouths and eyes. Photos by Fernando Gebbia