Bondage

Bondage is the art of restraining someone or tying them up in some way that induces intense feelings of sexual gratification for both parties in opposite ways. It can be as simple as tying a simple knot or as sophisticated as Shibari or Japanese rope bondage. The person being tied up can relax and allow the person doing the tying to provide pleasure for them, which in this case is related to feelings of helplessness and lack of free-will. The individual doing the tying up derives an equal and opposite enjoyment from their own feelings of empowerment. Power, in this context of discipline for the sake of arousal, must not be abused. It will never become an issue as long as both partners approach bondage games in an atmosphere of mutual trust.

Being tied up by someone you trust implicitly allows you to feel protected and cherished in a way that can’t be experienced at any other time. Tying someone up, on the other hand, makes you feel trusted and needed by them in return.

It is taken for granted that people in high powered jobs like these kind of sexual games, because they are able to let someone else take control so that they can lose control. It is also fair to say that it is usually imaginative people who enjoy these games, because they are better able to get lost inside them.

Items that can be used for restraints can include ropes, scarves, neck-ties, ribbons, underwear or hosiery.

A Polyfetish Dream

I’m a polyfetishist and it must seem like I’m being promiscuous with my affections towards different kinks. A lot of monofetishists seem to think it must be a confusing way to live but – for me – it couldn’t be any easier or more exciting. I can’t imagine being completely faithful to just one fetish. How other people manage to do it is a mystery to me. I know people who live for those moments when they can indulge themselves in a single kink like tickling, smoking or foot fetish.These individual obsessions – to a monofetishist – exclude all others in their significance and I’d never criticise anyone’s fidelity to their chosen fetish. I adore tickling, smoking and foot fetish myself but if I focused on any one of them all the time I’d get really bored, really quickly. For me, every fetish photo-session needs to have a different theme to keep it as fresh and provocative as possible. In the winter – for example – fur fetish, tight cardigan fetish and stocking fetish seem more appropriate to shoot. In the summer though, wet clothes fetish, and sploshing get me going faster. Nothing remains the same and there are new fetishes developing all the time. Even something as recent and controversial as the hooded sweatshirt has produced it’s own, powerful ‘hoodie fetish with a – rapidly increasing – group of enthusiasts. I appreciate the devotion they show to their kink because I see the fetish value in almost everything around […]

My First Book: Love Me Like You Hate Me – Venus O’Hara

In this era of 24/7 social networking, anyone can call themselves a writer because their words can be published online whenever they feel like it. I’ve always had plenty to say and my free website was the first ongoing outlet for my views and opinions. At the start, writing my posts was something fun I did on a Sunday afternoon; it was a hobby. Within three months though, I had an offer to co-author a book with Erika Lust and, suddenly, my hobby had to be taken a lot more seriously. The masochist in me enjoyed the unhelpful conditions I suffered to complete the project. For example, I always sat in the same old vintage leather chair-featured in many of my photo-sets-to get the work done. I wore old jogging bottoms, an ancient hoodie and, as it was during the winter months, I was usually wrapped up in a blanket that my grandma had sent to me; it had kept generations of O’Haras warm and I was very glad to have it. The door to my balcony was broken and no matter how much furniture I piled up against it, I still heard the rattle as it let in another bitter draft of cold air. My fingers were frozen and I could see my breath as I typed, busily, on the keyboard of my tired, unreliable laptop. I’ve got a new one now, thank God. I knew, even then, that I would look back at the hardship of the writing […]

Bathroom Bondage

The following images were styled and produced by myself to illustrate my book LOVE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME, written with Erika Lust. My objective in producing this set was to demonstrate that the power of bondage can be expressed and projected as easily from ordinary household objects and environments as it can from high-end fetish apparatus. In fact, the ability to fetishize familiar routines-things that we all do everyday-has to be the sexiest use of DIY that I know. Everyone showers or bathes. We know our bathrooms more intimately than any single place other than our bedrooms. In Barcelona on a cold February day I found myself abandoned in a strange bathroom. There was no real warmth to speak of, just two weak heaters to warm me up. The slippery mosaic tiles were freezing to my feet and as I got into the bath, my discount heels threatened to slip on the tiny, cold trickle of water left in the bottom. I was grateful to be wearing even a skimpy silk top, blue, sequinned knickers and my slave collar. Even my old snakeskin scarf, reworked as a blindfold, gave me a little bit of relief from the numbing cold. My shoulder blades, the small of my back and my firm derrière lay flat against the chilly porcelain. I felt my soft skin rise in lines of goosebumps and I was so drained of warmth that I couldn’t keep a single thought in my head. The photographer coiled the ordinary […]

My Love Hate Relationship with my Legs – Venus O’Hara

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my legs over the years. I was very self conscious when I was about twelve, I started shaving them just up to the knees. In summer the boys at school used to pick on me saying that they liked my white socks, when in actual fact they were referring to the milk bottle colour of my legs. When I was around sixteen I started experimenting with fake tan, which wasn’t as good as it is now, and I had the orange knee problem. I couldn’t find a solution for having tanned legs and a few years ago it no longer was a problem as I could no longer expose my knees in the summer due to the appearance of an ugly varicose vein just behind my right knee. Luckily I had it operated on two years ago and now the scar is hardly visible. Since the operation I’ve been determined to flaunt my legs. It took a long time, lots of fake tan disasters and even an operation, but I got there in the end. Enjoy! Venus O’Hara Photography by Andrew O’Hara.

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