When the package containing the new Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation device arrived, I knew I was in for a treat. This was in spite of an ongoing dispute between myself and my unpredictable full-time landlord/occasional flatmate/onetime friend. There was a time when having his property littered with my exhausted sex toys amused him. He was just as fascinated by my array of charging docks, with their blinking lights, filled with yet more devices awaiting testing.
I was in a terrible mood when I tried Lea by Feelz Toys for the first time. I had just been woken up in the early hours of the morning by my flatmate / frenemy who was making a great deal of unnecessary noise. It was clear that he didn’t give two hoots about whether I got enough sleep or not. His coughing, door slamming and stomping around made it clear that we are going through the equivalent of a platonic separation. Our situation is reminiscent of a film that I remember seeing. ‘The Breakup (2006)’ starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn tells the story of a couple trying to go their separate ways.
When I went to bed – I decided to test Zumio, a powerful clitoral stimulator that’s ideal for enjoying pinpoint pleasure. Naturally, I wondered what it would be like to share Zumio with another woman as I revisited my sapphic fantasies. I put Zumio to work on my hungry clitoris and closed my eyes. I imagined soft skin, expert caresses and – of course – the singular sensation of four breasts rubbing together.
I’m certainly not a natural born beachbum. But, when I received seven new Magnifique designs from Bijoux Indiscrets, I was instantly inspired to go to the beach and try them out. Even if you don’t live by the sea, a piece of the Magnifique collection won’t take up too much room in your suitcase if you go on holiday this summer. The response you get from putting it on display could be amazing.
Teatime with porcelain dildos instead of scones
In the UK if you have a problem, a cup of tea will almost certainly be part of the solution. In fact, when presented with a problem, the first response is most likely to be: ‘let me put the kettle on’. Tea and sympathy makes everything seem better again. And now – with these special teatime porcelain dildos – I think I’m going to enjoy this ritual more than ever.
OMG! I’ve just tried the new Womanizer 2GO for the first time and I’m still in a state of shock. I was literally screaming as I came. The orgasm arrived with no warning, and was so intense, that biting the pillow just wasn’t an option. I must admit that, in the past, clitoral suction devices such as womanizer – and rival devices such as the Satisfyer – have tended to be a little too powerful for my liking. I usually prefer to use a vibrator for indirect clitoral stimulation. That doesn’t mean, however, that I didn’t have a lot of fun. It was, simply put, incredible.
If you crave penetration with more cms than what your partner has to offer in the trouser department, then Play Ball from Adrien Lastic could be the perfect solution for you. For many, suggesting a penis sleeve might be insulting, but Play Ball, stimulates the end of your vagina, and the A spot, a pleasure point located at the deepest point on the anterior wall of the vagina, above the cervix, a place not all guys can reach.
Lubricants can be used in a variety of ways. The first thing that I look at when assessing the practical value of a given lubricant is its list of ingredients. If it contains glycerin, then you can be quite sure that the product will not be going anywhere near my vulva or my sex toys. That doesn’t mean that I dismiss it completely, however. It will still be useful for hand jobs, foot jobs, or even armpit or tit wanks if I’m in an exotic mood.
I usually wake up early, to be met by the sound of birds singing and the light of the recently risen Mediterranean sun in my face. I don’t put my blinds down as a rule because I love being stirred by that bright light. It gives me energy for the day ahead. After opening my eyes slowly, I usually reach out for one of my vibrators. I have a small collection of my favourites under my pillow, ready to use for moments just like these.
Coworking has changed my life. As a professional sex toy tester, it is safe to say that I probably have the best job in the world. But, even so, it is not absolutely perfect. The testing part of the job, although fun, must be undertaken at home and for obvious reasons. And when I am writing about the experience after the fact, it can be a very lonely affair indeed.